THE BET <P>A slimy fellow proposed a one dollar bar bet to a full figured blonde girl. Despite her dress being buttoned to the neck, he bet he could touch her breasts without touching her clothes. Since this didn't seem remotely possible, she was intrigued and accepted the bet. He stepped up, cupped his hands around her breasts and squeezed firmly. With a baffled look, she said, "Hey, you touched my clothes" and he replied,<P><BR>"Okay. I owe you a dollar."

We finished the musical "Pirates of Penzance" in May. Some pirate joke were flying around. Here's some you can share with the kids!<P>What’s a pirate’s wife’s name?<BR>Peggy.<P>What kind of socks do pirates wear?<BR>Aaarrrgggyle.<P>What does a pirate do after he brushes his teeth?<BR>He gaaarrrrrgles.<P>What Star Wars character was really a pirate?<BR>Aaarrrggg-2-D-2.<P>What is a pirate’s favourite country?<BR>Aaarrrgggentina.<P>Why are pirates so mean?<BR>They just aaarrrgggghhhh!<P>Why did one pirate hit the other pirate?<BR>They were having an aaarrrrgument.<P>How much did the pirate pay for his hook and peg leg”<BR>An arm and a leg.<BR>

Here is my two cents:<P>1.Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde lady comes in and wants to bet $10,000 on a single roll of the dice. And she adds, I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude. With that she takes off everything but her necklace and rolls the dice while yelling, Mama needs new clothes. Then she yells, YES, YES, YES!! I WON, I WON, I WON. She begins jumping up and down and hugging both of the dealers. Then she picks up her money and her clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, What did she roll, anyway?<P>The other answers, I don't know. I thought YOU were watching.<P>Moral: Not all blondes are dumb<P>2. A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband <BR>was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. <BR>He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee <BR>in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought just <BR>staring at the wall. She saw him wipe a tear from his eye <BR>and take a sip of his coffee. <P>"What's the matter dear? Why are you down here at this <BR>time of night?" she asked. <P>"Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating, <BR>and you were only 16?" he asked. "Yes, I do," she replied. <P>"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back <BR>seat of my car making love?" <P>"Yes, I remember." "Do you remember when he shoved <BR>that shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my <BR>daughter, or spend twenty years in jail?" <P>"Yes, I do," she said. He wiped another tear from his cheek <BR>and said, "You Know. . . I Would Have Gotten Out Today."<P>I needed this today. Thanks for the thread.<P>R