I just spoke to my H's sister. She and I have always been good friends, but this is the first time I was willing to chat to her since the spilt 5 weeks ago today .<P>I asked her if she'd spoken to him, and she said yes, but he didn't seem to know why he left. She also said he is missing us all very much. <P>She was of the opinion that I am being too soft with him because I don't confront him. I have a friend who says the same thing. I tried to explain why. I don't know if I got through, but she said she could rant at him if I wanted her to. I said no, because I don't want him pushed in a backwards direction. <P>She then asked me if there was anything I wanted him to know, but that I couldn't tell him myself. I said about how the kids are taking this. She said she would do this, by discussing her step-children and how they coped or not with their father's divorce. <P>So it's nice to have an ear in the family...and she is very good at being tactful, so I am hoping he might open up to her. That way I might get some idea on where this is going. It is good (in a way) to know it's not just ME he can't talk to - this sister is his best friend). If he just keeps it all inside it will make it fester.<P>Now this sister is not the interfering type and she won't do anything without my consent. She is well aware of how her actions can be seen by us as interferance (sp) and she is just trying to be supportive. She is not going to tell him that we chatted, as I think he would see this as a LB, me talking about it with his favourite sister.<P>I guess I have a back route to take to his feelings now, if he does open up to her. What do you think?<P><BR>

Yes, I really wish that I had that input at some point, but NOBODY was talking to me at that time. I just sort of (finally) bunped into one of the 'friends' of mine that has not contacted me, and he made an overture, but I just said, I don't think so, and moved on...it hurt, but that's the way these things go sometimes.<P>You know, there will be no shortage of people telling you how to <B>react</B> in this...myself included! , but honestly...you are the only one qualified to make that determination. One thing this process gives you is a deep understanding of how you tick...most folks don't get the opportunity to do that normally, which unfortunately makes a lot of people <I>experts</I> on how you should act/react. They care, and all of that...but they are not the ones on the receiving end of any of this. Personally, I think most people see it like a contagious disease...and they avoid any contact with it, or they treat you (me, anyway) like a whipped pup. It is quite a load for me to handle...especially today, since my sons are back from camping, and there is a local festival today...I saw my XW there, but did not speak to her. My 13 year old called me right when they got back, and came up here to stay last night...brought me a sandwich. The OM stayed at XW's 1 bedroom apartment with sons 2 and 4. After work this morning, we went to pick up my 6 year old at her apt. She tried to talk to me then, but I wanted no part of her...OM was inside. After walking around for a couple of hours, I had had enough. Just a really bad day. I saw onw of my nieces that lives about 12 miles from here, and asked her how she got here...she said her Mom brought her. They used to park at my house in years past, and my XSIL had told me...nothing's changed...but she did not call me, or stop by...I was further hurt by that. Now, I've got to find <I>my</I> alternatives on this one, because it really has a grip on me now, and I can't have that.<P>So, anyway, how did the palm reading sessions go? -Mike

((((((((((((Mike))))))))))))))))<P>Sorry you had a bad time with family and friends. I am lucky with his family (well, one of the sisters is bad news), but I get on well with the rest of his family, extended as well, and they will keep in touch. They've had to do it before with others, and they are very good at it. Anyway right now they know he's an idiot and they're really mad at him. And they don't know the WHOLE story!!! And while I would love to balst my husband in the hope that it would wake him up, I know he would just withdraw completely.<P>Palm reading was great fun, and it gave me a chance to "show off" a bit, just for knowing the guy. ANYTHING to give my ego a boost! You see, the guy that did it for us is my piano teacher's husband, and he is on TV in a soap here, and very well known. So all the girls were awestruck by this wonderfully unegotistical celebrity holding their hands and telling them about their lives with extrodinary accuracy.<P>He had already read my palm, but did it again, said a lot of things about me and my emotions getting the better of me at times, that I have low self esteem, that I'm creative, etc. He read a few others, but for my GOOD friend, he seemed to have trouble reading, it was short and not all that accurate (he said she's introverted....NOT!!!) She said this has happened before, a lot of people have trouble reading her. I'm going to ask him if he saw something he felt awkward about....<P>Then he impressed me when it was over by staying around for another couple of hours just chatting to a room full of women. I think he enjoyed that bit most...oh well, nothing at home, his wife is in Vienna this week. So it gave me a real boost to be able to provide that sort of experience for my friends.<P>He and his wife have been a great support to me in my situation; they are very loving, giving people, and are very spiritual and soul oriented. I met them at just the right time in my life...higher powers intervened in that one!<P><BR>