Many of you know my story. Wife moved out in June. She is living with her father. She basically said she neeeded space. I have been helping with the children more and more, but lately have been feeling used. Basically her father and I have been taking on most of the responsibilities for the kids while she did what she wanted. She has not been open to counseling "over the next few" months, but has not said divorce. Her father basically called and said I was trying to control her by expecting her to keep up her end of the separation agreement that said the kids would be in church regularily. She has taken them twice since June. He said that you dont have to go to church to be a good person. I said, "These are my children, but out!". He then said, I think you are getting mixed signals. He says, your wife has told me she loves you, but it is over. My wife tells me, she doesnt know. The father in las said to me "I am hoping she will move on in life with someone else" What a wonderful man, dont ya think? Anyway, he stated that he was going to call her and tell her "If you have any desire at all to work things out with Rob, then you need to move out". Nice, father huh? My question is, Is our marriage over? It seems to be if he has his way. What should I say or do to/for her? I am nervous and scared!

He's a meddler, and she needs to choose between him and you. Mine chose wrongly. You need to lay the choice and its consequences in starkest terms. She may still choose wrongly, but your guilt will be less...

RobC...the hardest thing for us to realize is that we have already made our case...repeating it over and over is a form of LB...let her repeat what you have said. He sounds like a controlling fahter, not the most desirable thing to a woman. My recommendation is to let it be. Be nice to her when you talk to her. Take the spiritual leader role with the kids seriously. Do the things that you need to do anyway, don't do too much outwardly to save the marriage...it will be saved, or not on its own merit, and her openness to God's will.<P>This is not a contest between you and your FIL...he is doing that. The narrow gate here is for you to focus on you, and the kids. Don't let him goad you into that. That will speak volumes to her. (Whether you get into a pi$$ing contest, or not, I mean) Maybe she is looking for the man that will not try to control her, but that she can allow to influence her...a godly man. Be that man.<P>Peace, brother...this is Armageddon...stay on the correct side! I will pray. -Mike