John,<P>How are you today? How has your week been? I liked your post for Bill!<P>Jacky

nina i wish you lived in georgia your too nice to me.<P>I am doing ok i think i realize now that my life was a blur<BR>i was using drugs when i got married, used them while i was married on occassion and never had the marriage that i wanted where my spouse was my best friend and looked forward to being with me too. she never made me feel the way i wanted to feel. I still love her but i don't want her, i miss my stepdaughter the most, she was my reason for getting out of bed every morning. Literally she was because i had to drive her to school, something i loved doing. I miss getting in her bed at night and asking her if i could sleep with her, she always said yes, never even thought about it, i would lay there for an hour or two and then go back to bed but i knew i was making her happy and her happiness became the center point of my life. I know all of he powerpuff girls names and we used to play games together and i know those were the happiest times of my life. How could my wife take that away from me and her daughter? I know the answer to that question, i hope she gets help, i hope she finds god.<P>everyone is telling me that i need to think about what is going to make me happy and move on with my life.<P>problem for me is happiness includes a family, kids, loving wife, and the constant perils of making a marriage work, thats what i want out of life, that is what i need to be happy, and i can't just go out and pick up a wife at the store, i made that mistake once, went and picked one up at rave. (RAVE = drug+dance+stupidity)<P>Im gonna work on making myself happy from now on and in the game of life, i'm looking forward to the next pitch because i don't have my eyes set on the fence anymore.<P>I wish everyone luck, i know all of us are suffering from a broken heart and many of us here are capable of giving so much love, let us remember to keep our hearts open to the world, life goes up and down, always has and always will, the point of being here is not letting it beat you and staying true to ourselves, let us learn to fill our hearts up and know that knowledge too will one day be lost for all is given and taken in what we call life.

You seem so wise for such a young guy...and you're bright, too. You do that, about keeping your heart open, cos someone is sure to walk in. Next time, wait a bit longer before you marry someone, though!!! Cos in six weeks, you don't really know anyone. Spend some fun times together first.<P>Take care,<P>Jacky