Hi there,<P>Well, just to make things even more interesting in my divorce, my attorney has gone on her own and is leaving the practice I retained. Her replacement is very good, but my stbx's attorney has decided to make me do a deposition on why I want a restraining order and set it deliberately after my attorney leaves the firm. <P>For one, I can't see why I need to do a deposition when I spelled it out clearly in my declaration of WHY I want and NEED a restraining order. My stbx has mentally and emotionally abused the girls and I for years, physically abused the older daughter and, when I ask for help; I get put on the stand and have to defend myself? <P>From what I understand it is a way for stbx's attorney to try and make me out as the "bad guy". After living years of being belittled, now I get to have it done in a courtroom, too? Gotta love the system. <P>This is so crazy, just seems to drag on and on. The girls are happier than I've seen them in a long time, having the temporary restraining order on their father has made them relax for the moment. They laugh and play with each other, no rage fits from the older daughter, it is a whole different atmosphere. We've become a functioning family and it is so nice! <P>Lori

Fire your firm and hire your attorney.

Ohio attorney here. Last advice was good. If you liked your former attorney, stay with that attorney. If you like the firm you are with, and they have an attorney you would feel comfortable with, stay there. Depositions are not uncommon and I'm sure it's for than just your reasons for obtaining a restraining order. If not, it sounds abusive because restraining orders are not uncommon in divorces. I have Deposition Instructions I give my clients. It's several pages long but details the purpose of a deposition and how to respond to questions. Essentially listen to the question, answer truthfully only what was asked, ask for clarification if you don't understand the question, say you don't know if you don't(don't guess at things you think you should know-saying I don't know is an acceptable answer) Depositions are used to establish facts or toward the discovery of facts not yet known. Certainly do not be afraid, always tell the truth since there is only version of it(people that lie generally have to compound the lies). and by all means, don't ask the other attorney questions(such as, well, what would you do, etc.), and don't verbally spar with the attorney(you automatically lose). Keep in mind the other attorney, generally toward the end. may see what it takes to push your buttons. Remain calm and watch out for open ended questions. This doesn't cover everything in my instructions, just a few. Have your attorney practice with you. Let him/her play the role of the other attorney and ask you tough questions. It's not a script and certainly never be afraid to tell the other attorney you and your attorney prepared for a deposition or hearing in court. Some people think that sounds bad. If you didn't prepare, your attorney would be negligent. Good luck to you. Lee<P>------------------<BR>

Thanks for the information! I did retain my lawyer when she moves to her own office, I saw the deposition papers and all the stuff that stbx's attorney wants, basically any information dealing with my life since July 1, 1992, which is before we were married. I do think the deposition is just a harrassment issue more than anything else, because he is going to video tape it as well as have typewritten transcripts. Been busy trying to field all the garbage that is being sent over and looking into a few things myself as it turns out I have discovered investments that he never mentioned before.<P>My stbx told me once he'd give me anything to let him go, now he wants me to be destroyed. Fortunately, I have grown enough in the past year to stand up to him and protect myself and the girls. I have to say, I am looking forward to it finally being over, but figure this next step is going to be a big hurdle to get through.<P>Thanks again for the advice... it definitely helped me through a panicky patch.<P>Lori