I'm just wondering if any others are hoping to reconcile with a spouse who's really left - like thousands of miles away.<P>After a month of separation, we have finally had a phone conversation. She says she doesn't know what she wants. I asked her point blank whether there was a chance she might come back someday. Upon reflection, that question was better left unasked. 'LB'. So I guess I can take heart in that she only said she didn't know. Kinda like the Jim Carrey <BR>character in 'Dumb and Dumber' who upon being told the chances where one in a million, replied 'So you're saying there's a chance!' with a big smile.<P>I'd given her plenty of reason to want to split. But I have gone through some really profound changes, and I hope and believe I can be the husband she deserves. And she, on her part, has at least not ruled out reconciliation. But it seems like it is going to be difficult to win back her love in this situation.<P>So anyway, any others in a situation where your spouse is <BR>far, far away?

Hey there. I am in exactly the same position as you. W and I relocated to another state for my job. She had a difficult time finding her own job. Long story short, huge LBing fight, she is now across the ocean 4,000+ miles away. We have been separated over a month now. I've acknowledged to her I've made mistakes and have been going to therapy to improve myself. She refused initially to see a marriage counselor together with me. Now she has visited the therapist once and will tell me whether or not she wants to try and work it out when I fly to visit her this weekend. She already has indicated that she is leaning toward 'D', and I am a realist and I doubt a 180 will happen and she will want to work it out, so I have accepted it and moved on. I will only be visiting to separate our things so I can ship mine up. I planned A for a couple weeks and after that did not do much, I skipped to plan B. Neither worked. However, my situation is extreme and we have broken up many times. Don't give up hope. There is always a chance, especially after the 'fog' has lifted and they realize they are making a hasty decision that should be reconsidered. Take care and keep positive. I will look for your posts regularly, so keep posting.

Curunfinwe..I have not forgotten about my promise to psot that info...I am working on it...slowly. Be patient.<P>Indecision...you are pulling yourself apart with your waffling...sorry...don't mean to seem judgemental, but that fence is not the place to be! It confuses her, too. Plan A for a few weeks? It takes at least 6 weeks by most accounts for a person to accept that something has changed...how that figure was arrived at, I have no idea. Plan B can only follow a successful Plan A...that is the concensus of everyone I have asked...but I speak to you because your post seems to belie the same thing as your handle...you don't stick with things long enough. Be patient...both of you. My XW dropped the bomb March 14th...I managed to chase her out on May 23rd...that's when the D was final...yeah. We aren't even at the six month mark from when she said that she wanted a SEPARATION, and we had no spearation. Slow down, and be patient. There is nothing harmed by going more slowly than you'd like. Remember that the person that appears to care the least controls the realtionship...how true does that seem <I>to you?</I> God bless. -Mike