I want to be "tough" in the Dobson sense of the word, but I also want to Plan A. My wife says she needs her "space" and I have almost withdrawn from her because she is still talking to the OM. Now I am giving her the space she desires, but she is always asking me for favors. She also is planning to go to South America in October with our kids for a couple of months. This is nothing unusual, at this time of year these trips just happen. Anyway, she is hoping that I will pay her car payment for her while she is gone. <BR> I have told her, "if you don't want to be my wife, don't expect me to be your husband." Her retort is "it seems like you are just standing on my head, trying to bury me. Why does it have to be this way? We aren't divorced yet." Being the nice guy I am, I start to get a little twinge of guilt when she says this and I think "I'll never get her back if I am so hard on her." My question is, how can I get her to respect me again but not get her to hate me while doing it? Thanks for your replies.

time to let her stand on her own two feet, she will continue to take advantage of you, stop letting her push yur buttons. You can tell her and treat her with love respect and dignity without letting her step on you, it is said that we must teach people how to treat us and not let them treat us the way they want to start to set some boundries.<P>

Hi, <P>I've read a lot of your posts, and I know it's hard, from my own experiences.<P>You know that she KNOWS you are Mr Nice Guy. YOU must also surely know that there are ways to get the bank to do what she wants you to do. She seems too lazy to organise it for herself...<P>Now there are three ways of looking at it...do it and just maybe earn some love bank deposits, or don't do it, but help her work out the bank stuff, hopefully still earning deposits, and then there's just telling her to work it out for herelf. You have to choose what you are willing to do.<P>Hope I helped clarify.<P>