I dont quite understand people that leave a relationship. I suppose none of us do and that is why we are here. Mine refuses to talk about anything and now has taken off her wedding band. Arrrrrgh. Do they like inflicting pain. Why cant they at least have some since of loyalty to the relatioship until a divorce is final? Do they have a sarcastic attitude to justify their leaving? Mine is in a fog. She is such a smart-[censored] when we meet to exchange the children. She wont event get up to ensure that they are properly dressed for church, when I come to pick them up. Her response is, "They are nine, they can dress themselves". ALl the while she is just laying in the bed and they let themselves out. What is the deal. I get soooooooooo furious. I know I shouldnt, but I am beginning to wonder if this isnt the best 1300/month I may spend - to get rid of HER! She also asked if I would take the kids shopping for shoes and she would pay me back. I did it and it was fun. One of the big reasons we separated was the fact that I acted irresponsible alot. It was wrong then, but seems okay for her. Last night my daughter called me crying and she was very upset (she is five). I couldnt hear her because my wife had the TV up loud and was laughing at the top of her lungs. When I asked my daughter why didnt she talk to mommy, she said, I did, and she said to call daddy. I am so ticked off right now. UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!

Hi...Sounds like you're having "one of those days"...thru no fault of your own!!! You know this is THE place to vent & we ALL know what you mean!!<P>My husband & I have been separated for 10weeks now...one of my biggest problems in the weeks before we separated was his arrogant behavior. He oozed w/it! When I said something to him about why he acts that way, he laughed & said he's not. (Yeah...I'm stupid....my imagination....) Pride is an all-consuming attitude and people with it are the last ones to see it. But the thing to remember is you're only responsible for YOUR attitudes and reactions, not hers. The kids will see you maintaining your composure and learning how adults are supposed to act. Hard? Of course....but what worth anything isn't????<P>Hang in there...you're in good company!<P>Lisa

Hi RobC,<P>For me, his arrogance towards me comes and goes...I just try to plan anyway, and I actually kept the smile this weekend when he gave me the stony hello. First time.<P>Sa-girl is right about the kids. My son has reacted more negatively over things for the last two days, and in front of his dad, too, saying awful things to him to indicate he is hurting about this. Funny thing was, s did it while h and I were getting on okay for the first time in the whole six weeks. (He just wouldn't talk to me). Your kids probably will, too. They see how we are treated, and they don't like it.<P>Expect some reactions. And let them happen around your w. My mum told me to let the kids say what they want to the WS. She wasn't ws, but she left us for 8 months because she had a nervous breakdown and had to get out....she says that what we kids said to her had a major influence in making her return.<P>Hope this helps!?!

Oh, RobC, the stories we could trade on that one! I feel like it s Junior High, all over again...he said, she said, I know you are, but what am I...its really very juvenile, and gets old quick...especially whan her friends 'help' her out...honestly! Hang in there...just try to remember how much 'more mature' than you she is! BTW, really, at nine they <B>should</B> be able to do that, but you know that they need someone keeping them on task, I agree with you! (the real question is...if they <B>should</B> be able to, then whay <B>don't</B> they?) But hey, why not just take a 20 pound sledge hammer to your head...it will have about the same result, and it feels so <B>good</B> when you stop! God bless. -Mike<p>[This message has been edited by waiting_for_her (edited August 20, 2001).]

I think the whole lot of us should get together and really let out some aggression...we could bash 'em all night long. It seems as if our spouses were all created in the same place.<BR>My Wife's rings are off, she has a sarcastic attitude "I am beginning to wonder if this isnt the best 1300/month I may spend - to get rid of HER," and her "arrogant behavior" "I feel like it s Junior High, all over again." I had to quote everyone...you all put it best!