Hi,<P>Still working out that letter, and it seems to be the right thing to do. As you know I told him I was going back to Oz on Sunday. I told him I still have hope for us. So he knows that.<P>So do you think I should send the letter ASAP or wait a bit. I'm concerned about the timing of it may make him back off again.

I am sure you will know when the time is right.<P>

Well, see this letter is a potential LB...I can just imagine him seeing as a manipulative tool...that I'm trying to change his mind. So I'm very nervous about sending it

Hi Jacky:<P>I do not think it is manipulative. Be sincere, be honest and open. After the other night I am starting to think he is not as strong as he leads to be.<P>Were you online all night? It is 7:45 AM here now, were you online 5 hours ago. I had a bad night major LB night for both of us and almost sent you a note. <P>anyway, I think you should send the letter soon.<P>Michelle

Jacky,<P>Again I have to apoligize for not keeping up, so leaving this weekend, WOW!!! <P>I guess my initial gut reaction is to wait a week of two after you leave to send the letter. This gives him some time to start thinking and missing the family.<P>BTW when you get the letter done, I'd love to see it. Wishing you the best my friend.<P>God Speed<P>------------------<BR>Love, Bill<P>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-

Yes, thinking abou tit Bill is right. Send it after you leave. Then for sure not an LB or manipulative tool! <P>

Hi Michelle abd Bill,<P>No I wasn't up all night, there is a seven hour time lapse...so actually it 2.30am there it's 9.30am here. A nuisance when I need help and no-one' up yet!!!<P>I thought about the same thing, send it after. I think I will although it seems like a lot of trouble for us all if it happens to change his mind.<P>Got another horrid fact to add to my collection...I had an instant message chat to his sister today, and I asked her if she'd heard from him. She said no, none of the family had spoken to him, except for his m&d. \Well one day he was here and his phone rang...he said can't talk now Kath, etc. NOW, I ASKED him if it was sister Kath he said yes. Now either he's lying or she is, and I know which one I can trust more these days.... <P>What happened EWS???

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nina too:<BR><B>I thought about the same thing, send it after. I think I will although it seems like a lot of trouble for us all if it happens to change his mind.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I guess that's one way to look at it but let me offer my opinion. If you give it to him before you leave it makes it appear more like a last ditch effort to change him than a sincere loving letter of finality and thanks. By waiting till after you leave, he can read and appriciate the letter with the knowledge that no strings are attached BECAUSE YOU'RE ALREADY GONE....<P>Just my .03 cents worth. Inflation don't ya know.<P><P>------------------<BR>Love, Bill<P>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-

Oops. I guess I made you all go into a tailspin!!!!<P>I'm not leaving for about another six weeks. I meant that this weekend, just past, I told him I was leaving! Sorry for the poor grammar.<P>Yes, Bill there is logic in what you say...I am just really fighting this move in my own mind, coming up with excuses why not, etc. And I suppose I thought if I gave him the letter it might change something. But I forgot, I'm not supposed to expect anything, and based on his behaviours, why should I?<P>Really, really flat today (AGAIN - does this ever end???)<P>Thanks mate!!!<P>Jacky

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nina too:<BR><B>Really, really flat today (AGAIN - does this ever end???)<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>NOPE!!!!!! About three weeks ago I thought it had finally ended for me then I was placed right back into my comfy seat on the roller coaster. But on the positive side, my ride appears to be screeching to a halt and I'M READY...<P>Hang in there. Sorry about the 6 week thing, I was like OMG she's leaving now. I still think that you wait. There may be a time before you leave but we'll just have to see.<P><P>------------------<BR>Love, Bill<P>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-

I think you've read my other posts so you'll know I don't really have any other choice if we don't reconcile. I'm being forced into this, and that's one thing I don't like...I HAVE to give up any Plan A'ing, and my kids won't see their dad at all.<P>I chose to tell him I was leaving for a sense of my control of my own life...he, I'm sure would have left me hanging, only to go back until the last possible moment, because he didn't want to deal with losing the kids. <P>Now I know that sounds like I'm trying to manipulate him, but I'm not. It's for self survival and a sense of dignity about this - his family can't believe what he's doing, neither can mine, but they'll support me in whatever I do. I'm NOT going to hang around like a love starved puppy while he does whatever he likes right under my nose, and also I don't think he has any intention of changing his mind. <P>I know there are ups and downs here...I know everyone else has to face it too....I'm just not coping at the moment. I have to cos of the kids, but today I didn't manage that well, and then resentment of h comes into my head. And OW, and all the other hurdles I have to face over the next few months. I feel like I'm ready to give up, hide somewhere so he can't ever get near me to hurt me again. And I would if not for the kids. But then if it were not for the kids, he wouldn't come looking.<P>Well that's how I feel, and I can only go on what he's said to me, too.<P>Think I'll have to chill out a bit somehow...it's really getting to me. <P>Sorry for venting again, thanks for listening...if i hadn't vented here tonight, he was gonna get one he** of a phone call, cos I am just so sick of this.