A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.<BR>They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy<BR>asks, “What are these, Dad?”<P>The man replies, “Those are called condoms, son.<BR>Men use them to have safe sex.”<BR>“Oh i see, “replied the boy pensively. He looks over the<BR>display and picks up a package of 3 and asks,<BR>“Why are there 3 in this package?”<BR>The dad replies, “Those are for high-school boys.<BR>One for friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.”<BR>“Cool!” says the boy. He notices a 6-pack and asks,<BR>“Then what about these?”<BR>“Those are for college men “?the dad answers.<BR>“Two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday.”<BR>“WOW!” exclaimed the boy. “Then who uses THESE?”<BR>he asks, picking up a 12-pack.<BR>With a sigh, the dad replied reluctantly, “Those are for<BR>married men.<BR>One for Janury, one for February, one for March.....<BR>

POOR MILDRED<P>Aging Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl.<BR>She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.<P>Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be. "On a woman," the doctor said, "your heart would be just below your left breast."<P>Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.<P>

eeewww...

<BR>Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven...don't step on the ducks." So they enter heaven, and sure enough,there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!" The next day, the second guy steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly woman. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first guy. The third guy has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for<BR>all eternity to an ugly woman, is very, VERY careful where he steps. He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on...a very tall, tan, curvaceous, sexy blonde. St. Peter chains them together<BR>without saying a word. The guy remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" The woman says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."<BR>____________________________________________________________<BR>

CHICKEN HAIR'S<P>A boy and a girl were behind a barn one day. The girl told the boy, "I have to quit eating chicken, because I am growing chicken hair." The boy in disbelief said, "Let me see." So the little girl pulls down her pants and panties and says "See." "You sure do," the boy says. Well the boy says, "I have to quit eating chicken because I am growing chicken hair too." The girl says, "Let me see." The boy then pulls down his pants and underwear and the girl says, "It's too late for you, you already have the neck and the gizzards.<BR>