I've been married for almost 4 yrs this dec. 31st. My marriage is dead. It was marriage doomed the very first day we moved in together. <P>I decided last year october that if things didn't change, it would be time to move on. For the first 2-3 yrs we were together, she had her feet out the door and mine were planted. It was only when I finally sat her down and told her that I wanted a divorce and we should work together to end things amicably, she did a 180 and told me she wanted to "surrender" to the marriage and make it work. I already had my "feet" out the door. I kept doing things to try to change, only killing myself in the process. <P>It was only when I decided that I have to change to make myself happy, I felt that there was hope again, for myself. I got to see how this relationship really is: one sided to the extreme! I've jumped through so many hoops and kept sticking so many bandaids to problems and bills she kept throwing at me. I don't want to do it anymore! Don't get me wrong. I have done my share to contribute to this mess and I have taken responsibility for it and have apoligized 1000x for it. The fact is: she will continue to hold anger toward me for it.<BR> <BR>We have a 3 1/2 yr old daughter. She is THE main reason I kept trying to make it work. She deserves both of her parents and I still believe that. I'm sorry for her that I can't do it anymore; continue to find a solution to make "us" work. I want and need love in my life! I want intimacy. I know my wife wants these things too. I think she is too too afraid of it. I can't wait anymore and hope for the best.<P>I want to share my life w/ someone who wants to be with me, not someone who points out what she doesn't have in her life and that it's my job to provide it. I hope my daughter forgives me for my decision. <P>just venting for now....I'll know I'll be back writing more. <P>

I hope the two of you continue to work on things get some counseling, read some books and make an honest effort to make things work out, I think you owe it to yourself to stick with this until both of you have done all you can do and can come to an agrreement on how things will be, communicate with her, just listen to her and ask her to listen to you, perhaps with some good counseling you can meet in the middle and save this marriage, hard work and commitment thats what it takes, it is easy to just give up , the rewards come from doing the work that needs to be done, <P>