About 3 months ago, a friend of mine caught his wife in bed with OM. It wasn't the first time and after threatening to kill the guy he left his wife.(He didn't really mean it, he was just angry) After leaving her, he wouldn't have anything to do with her except for the kids and he told me that under no circumstances he was going back. Right after he left, the OM broke it off with my friends wife so she was not a happy camper - she lost her H and her OM all in the same day. His wife wanted him back and promised that it would never happen again. But he said "no go" and started dating. I had told him he should give it a chance but he said he was too angry to even look at her. I didn't think he'd ever change his mind about things. He said he wanted to move on with his life and sounded very sure of himself. I talked to him today and he said that him and his wife were spending the weekend together at his house (he had gotten his own apartment) and that he had made plans of moving back into the house with his wife. I told him that I was very happy for him and that I thought he was doing the right thing for his children. This situation is different than mine and probably most of yours' too because this guy had a good reason for leaving. Nevertheless, all along he's been saying "no way" and in one day he changed his mind.

they say most marriages don't end because of the affair. I am happy to hear a sucess story, I just wonder if OM didn't break it off would she want him back? I hope you advice him to read everything on this site and to go back with causion.<P>

Good point jabber

Good point, perhaps, but not the type of thinking that leads to anywhere good, so why bother with it? We all have bad patterns that we use, and we justify using them, even though they cause us pain and suffering. Usually, that form of justification is of the 'better safe than sorry' variety. There are many more reasons that they both want to work at it. The reasons mean nothing if they are not <B>directly</B> attached to the outcome...the outcome is the thing! -Mike