<small>[ August 08, 2004, 03:21 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>

hi lee,<P>i hope and pray that you are feeling better today...<P>you gave me good advice recently and i know that there is a God out there somewhere that is looking down on us, caring how we feel and that we are sad. keep you head to the sky...<P>Bless you...<P>with sincere agape love,<P>kim...

hey!!! i do feel good about 2 things!!! <P>1. i am finally a "member" <BR>2. i made your post catch on fire. <P>those were 2 of my truest desires. okay so i am a little crazy and easy to please. i think those are good qualities...

Bear13lee. I do understand more about choices not being static, and a choice would have to be made based on how you feel. Not sure I understand exactly about them not being quantitative. Does that mean versus qualitative? I guess I can understand how you would not want to be a burden to her, as you seem to state it, and for that reason, time is important to you, and that it would be O.K. if you were married, but you woul'nt go there if you weren't. Is it the "for better or worse" saying in the ceremony? Why would it have to through marriage for that to be true. You say time is very important to you and I can understand why, but then later you say"not that you would want to get married for that reason", or at least get married sooner for that reason. It does sound like you want to marry her regardless. Do you think that might make her feel any pressure, when you say you want to marry her, but wouldn't if your physical condition worsened during the aprox two year period you mentioned that you are waiting? You said you have accepted, or gotten past the two year thing, but have you really? And maybe you need to talk to her about some of the fears you mentioned previously that she might have, aside from just moving the kids. That is probably a very real concern but what were you talking about when you said you thought she did have some fears about moving.

To Kim, a big agape love right back at you!:> To zara: first, yes, I don't think you can quantify feelings, so on that you are correct. Second, I never really said anything about any other fears she may have. I thnk someone else said that. I think the only expressed fear I have ever heard is she would be making a major change in her life by moving and if things didn't work out-where would she be then. On the other hand, if that really is a fear, maybe I have to assess that. If she has the feeling it won't work and she'll be stranded in some different city, maybe we both need to explore that. That would not be a good way for us to enter a marriage and I will discuss it with her. No, I don't want to pressure her because of any physical condition. That would not be the way to start life together. Resentment, bitterness, all that, would probably set in. All I'm saying is I don't want to burden someone even if they are willing to take on that burden. So in a sense, marriage does make a difference(better or worse, sickness and in health) because as long as we are not married I still have the choice of not putting her through that. I WILL NOT DIVORCE AGAIN-AT LEAST BY MY CHOOSING! But no, I don't mean for that to sound like pressure to something quicker. Yes I want to marry her and she says she wants to marry me. I've gotten past the two year deal because that is not a decision solely up to me and whether it's because of her kids, fears, concerns, or whatever that influeces her decision, I respect her and her feelings. You made it sound earlier like you were in the same situation. Maybe it would me understand if I had a better idea of what the two of you are dealing with. What stage of the relationship you are in, what your mutual goals are, etc. Anyway, we do talk-we do communicate, more than I ever have with any other person in my life. Zara, all I can tell as I write this evening is I love her and want to be with her. I don't want to wait, but as I sit here this evening, I will. My guess is, uses the CHOICES thing, I will make the same decision tomorrow. By the way, I don't think this is a woman that is going to feel pressured or act from perceived (or real) pressure. You would have to know her. She is strong, independent, loving, caring and probably has more common sense than I do. She's not perfect, but neither am I. The only major difference, except as it relates to this, is I'm more controlled and she's more erratic, but you gotta love her. To Kim-right on.

Sorry, the right on was to Laura!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bear13lee:<BR><B>Sorry, the right on was to Laura!</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>i still love ya...

Just got back from a short vacation to the mountains. Today, I feel great! There were some bad days while I was gone, but after having three days to think about things, started feeling much better. I know I've put posts on here about waiting two more years after already being together two years(Sept. 17th) but I've come to accept that which I cannot change and just hope and pray I am strong enough to continue. Never know for sure what tomorrow will bring. Thaks to all of you that responded. Lee P.S. to Zara: I'm not sure you understood that thing I wrote called CHOICES, but that's okay. Special thanks to Nina and Idostylin!

Hey, what's that? Someone thinks we're an item??? <P>Just goes to show you people sometimes don't read carefully enough here. <P>You're taken.....(I knew that) well what a lucky girl she is .<P>And thanks for the special thanks!

Nina, just curious, but I forgot, how old did you say your children were?