I have not posted in such a long time. Over all I am doing well. <BR>But today I am just hurt. My X is still with his internet woman. Though she got upset and left last weekend and did not tell him. They went to St. Louis today to the races (he never takes the kids if it cost him money) It just hurts that he has someone and I don't.<BR>We have been divorce for almost a year. I thought there was a man that was interested me. He has been hot and cold. He has also only been divorced for a year. Now I think he is avoiding me.....we have not dated or anything and he is neighbor. We have causally known each other for years.....(kids on same sofball team...his daughter in my girlscout troop) I was happily married and never talked to him that much, until after our divorces.<P>I am not ready to date just anyone......but maybe somebody as a friend to do some things with. I miss doing things as a couple.....and hate it that X has that. I hate that he says We when he talks about them. I want to be a WE again.<P>I have done fine on my own. I have managed to keep the house up with repairs ect.<P>I feel like I have alot to offer someone. I am employed and own a nice house. But besides that I am a caring friend and enjoy people.......<BR>It makes me wonder if I have something wrong with me. I feel like he (my neighbor) is giving me the cold shoulder now. <BR>I am just feeling sorry for myself. I was a WE for so long and it still hurts that some internet person has taken my place....but most of all......X has someone to clean up after him, help him pay his bills, someone to eat dinner with and here I am alone.....I just hate it.<P>I have my kids and I am soooooo thankful for their love. I just miss snuggling, sharing popcorn, and all those couple things.<P>Thanks for letting me have a pity party.

Hi,<BR>Have you looked in Parents Without Partners? They have regularly scheduled "socials" for singles that are a safe place to take baby steps toward dating again.<P>I know it's probably impossible, but try to not think about the ExH and compare yourself to him (or his internet beauty).. just focus on you, your kids, and you, you, you from now on.<P>

Thanks so much for answering back....<BR>I have thought about joining Parents without Partners, I just did not know if I was ready to go with strangers.<P>I have done pretty well this last year. I went back to college (after 20 years) and now I am teaching at a junior high. Worked on the house...bought new furniture ect.<P>The weekends without the kids are hard. It seems I go in circle finding things to do.<P>Thanks Again.

You sound like you are still grieving and that is ok. Trust me in the long run you will be the better person and will have more meaningful relationships since you are spending time and figuring out what you want and you don't have to settle for less than what you want. If he is with internet woman it might be my ex lol just kidding, He doesn't know what he wants or what he really got either. I feel sorry for him, his pain is yet to come, you have taken the high road and it sounds like you are healing nicely, take care of yourself<P>

Thanks Jabber for the reply. I am trying to take the high road. Thoug X and I got into a fight tonight on the phone. This is his weekend and he told daughter today that he had to switch weekends. He wants to take internet woman to resort and did not ask the kids if they want to go. I want my children to feel loved and that they are wanted and I will change my plans for them always....but I do not plan on getting walked on by him and for him to change his weekends whenever he wants.<BR>He never takes the kids anywhere........he says he does not have the money.....then why does he not leave O/W home and take the kids.....I told him that tonight on the phone....He got mad of course.<BR>Oh well..I will have my kids this weekend...they did not want to go with him anyway.<BR>Thanks for replying......<BR>