Laurie<BR>I did'nt want to do anything rash or in a haste so I spent time with my psyh doc last night and explained where I was and some of your and Dr Harley's advice. So now after at least a year of giving love and what ever she asked I have chosen to start Plan B. My Dr made it easier by explaining like this. My wife has chosen for me not to love her and if loved her I should do as she ask's and not love her. Meaning stop doing things for her stop seeing her and just stay away (DO NOTHING). When explained to me this way it lifted the burden of me feeling I should come to the rescue every time she needed me. Which was what I was doing and she was having her cake and eating it too. I did call the wife and told her about my decision to do as she wished and stop loving her. In the most caring way I could. During the conversation her voice dropped and she got defensive, told me she never asked for anything. She's in such a state of denile I feel sorry for her. She thinks she's moving on with her life because she's having fun, O well. I guess I like the fact that now when she ask's for something i can say no because I'm doing what you asked of me (NOT LOVE YOU) i'm feeling better already.<BR>I'd also like to tell anyone who's new to these problems Not to be so stupid as to do what I did. Good luck to all, Thanks and GOD BLESS

\<p>[This message has been edited by HollyAnn (edited July 07, 1999).]

double post removed<p>[This message has been edited by Alice (edited June 11, 1999).]

HollyAnn,<BR>Thanks for repling to my post and mentioning the book. I guess I feel good about what i'm doing but it's tuff to do. Last night I dropped off my 9 yr old but did'nt go to the door and he asked me why. I tried to explain that the doctor told me not to see mom for a while so I would'nt feel sad. I did tell him I was not mad at mom and I still loved her but I just cant see her right now. It almost feels like I have to be angry at her to do this right. Thanks again for the support I need it. Have a good day :-)

Plan B is tough. Tough Love is even harder. Has anyone here done it? Did it work? Does it get easier? My son is also feeling down because he thought things were getting better. I'm emotional puddle and its only been a few days. Although we have been seperated for 20 months it still feels like it was yesterday. HELP HOW Does It Work?