To all of you who respondend to my earlier post thank you. I know that people can only advise on what they know and I hope there are not many people out there in this situation. It is awful to be pregnant and divorcing or seperated which ever he wants at the same time.<P>I just wish this emotional rollercoaster would stop. I have been doing well for a while and all of the sudden here come the tears again. Sometimes I just want to sleep all that I can but, when I do I dream about him. No matter what I can not have any long amount of time without thinking about him. I thought since I was finally becoming bitter after over 3 months of the ups and downs and me trying to work on our marriage and him showing nothing but disgust, that I was doing good. But I guess the hardest thing to admit is that no matter how bitter I am towards him I do dearly love and miss him.<P>Thanks for listening to me vent.<P>K

i am sorry that i didn't read your first post. i really don't know much, but i do know how emotional a woman gets when she is pregnant. i have 2... <P>it must be very difficult, what you are going through. i am so sorry that you are here. i pray that you and your child get through this tough time with out too many long lasting wounds.<P>God bless you<P>Kim...

Hi K,<BR>I haven't read your first post either but it sounds like we are in the same boat! (unfortunately) My husband left in mid-May and I am 5 months pregnant. It is almost unbearable going through this pregnant and I know exactly how you feel. If you would like to chat my e-mail address is june_bug622@msn.com It might be helpful to talk to someone going through a similar experience. Take care.<BR>June

It is sad when we love and miss someone the way we do, it is ok the important thing is you are feeling and trying to express your feelings, each time you ar able to do this it is one more step you have taken on this journey. Sometimes we need to stop and cry the weight seems to much to carry so we drop alittl of the baggage on our way up the hill, some times we need to stop and talk with another stranger who seems to be stranded along the road. Other times a stranger will come along and carry us awhile. Keep your focus on the climb, keep moving forward, even when it seems you have stopped or have gone backwards just take one more step forward, it gets easier as we lighten the load we are carrying, Take care of yourself<P>

I can totally sympathize. my husband told me he wanted a divorce but i got pregnant (and NOT on purpose) because we were still living together until this past may and sleeping together. i had 3 already and didn't need the extra work. he said he would work on the marriage but then told me at 4 months he was leaving after the baby came. moved out in may, baby came in june, filed and received divorce in july and he's already hitting the dating circuit. that's when my pain came. i too had gone into the hatred stage when he told me he would not work on it anymore. i decided to pull myself up and plunge ahead into my new future without letting him get to me. but when i found out he was seeing someone and the clincher was he had the baby for a visit saturday afternoon and when i went to pick her up, THAT WOMAN was holding my baby!!! Talk about emotions. He and i had a BIG talk that night on the phone and he said i must still love him if it bothers me. well, i guess i must because i didn't know i would react this way either. i just feel so bad about myself that it was so easy for him to go out and start dating. he truly never loved me and it just tears my heart out because i did love him.<P>we were still married when the baby came so he was present when she came. i had complications and my life was in danger and he was so very good to me during all that. i thought for a few days there that he was reaching the end of his rope and expected him to say he was so wrong and would i please forgive him and lets go to counsuling and fix our marriage. but, i was in la-la land. reality stinks.

Thank you all for your help. I am sorry to hear that others have or are going through the same thing that I am. It is hard enough to fight for divorce and even harder with the emotiional rollercoaster of being pregnant at the same time.<P>My X will not be present at the birth. I can not and will not go through that. I know how un respondent he was when I was in the hospital the week before he kicked us out. I ask myself every day why do I still love a man who seems to care nothing about anything but himself. I am just hopeful that I overcome and become stronger. When the baby comes I will not have much time on my hands to feel sorry for myself. So then I can get a job and a house for me and my two boys.<P>I guess my problem is codependency. To things that I can not have and who are verbally abusive. Who knows. But, my biggest fear is the custody part in court and explainig all of this to my other child. I can not imagine one night without him let alone the one on the way.<P>Thanks again<P>K