Get this! I am sure others have experienced this....my ex-wife before the divorce kept giving me this "lets stay friends" crap.<BR>She talked about going out and having lunch, and acting like we are still "buddies". All the while she is with the Guy that helped break out marriage up. YA RIGHT <P>Well I never seen my exwife in person, and never talk to her. But there are times that I will see her coming home from work, or driving somewhere else. And she just glances over at me, or puts her hand to her forehead like she is disturbed by seeing me.<P>Ok if she has such a problem seeing me, what made her think she could stay friends with me?? LOL<BR>You know I am depressed....but she is crazy.<P>------------------<BR>Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

BioMan<P>My soon to be Ex has done what you’ve described. Wanted to be good friends. I even took her out for dinner on 4 occasions on my expenses. Needless to say that I was not even aware of her affair. The thought of this just makes me sick. But now that I know about the affair, she has treated me as if I have the plaque. <P>She is trying to put all the blame on me, her affair, my children’s unhappy emotions and the divorce. They only do this to justify their decisions and to camouflage their deep <BR>Emotions.<P>stick in there as you are further down the dark tunnel than I am.<BR>

Yea, like these are the type of friends we would want to have. The qualities in a friendship I amired the most1)can they constantly lie to me 2)can they make every issue into a fight 3)do they have the ability to betray me 4)the inability to be responsible for their own actions. Yea, these are great qualities arent they.

Well my opinion with the WS wanting to be "friends" is they really dont want to stay friends. They just want you to give them conformation that everything is ok, and that what they did would still make you want to be friends with them.<BR>It is all just to make them feel better.<BR>I dont think anyone should fall for it. <BR>Yes if you have kids, i think you should be civil around the kids, but you dont have to act like Life time buddies.<BR>That just give the WS their cake and eat it too.<P>------------------<BR>Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

just give the WS their cake and eat it too.<BR>Thats exactly what my councillor said about my wife .<BR>She wants the Money and the House and the kids and her needs.I Think that People like this eventually become very lonely in life. People eventually see through their disguises <P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nowilltocarryon:<BR><B>just give the WS their cake and eat it too.<BR>Thats exactly what my councillor said about my wife .<BR>She wants the Money and the House and the kids and her needs.I Think that People like this eventually become very lonely in life. People eventually see through their disguises <P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Your counselor told you that?? that is rich...<BR>ya our so called "marriage" couselor proceeded to tell me "ex" wife that if she saw nothing wrong with her spending her entire day working out at the gym. And that if she didnt think anything was wrong, then nothing is wrong with it.<BR>Needless to say, I dropped him. My ex wife spent every waking hour in the gym. That is were she met the OM, cause he is in there all the time too. <BR>And she told me a number of times that she didnt know if she ever wanted kids cause what it would do to her body.<BR>And the couselor said "well There is nothing wrong with having a strong believe in something"<BR>I was like what the F***? <BR><P>------------------<BR>Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

I had to jump in on this. Austin - you got it right. I got the same speech from my wife before we separated ( be really good friends, a big part of my life...) <BR> <BR> She didn't tell me OM would play the biggest part, get all her affection, empathy, etc. Case in point - I took the family to the shore for a week. EVERY night, WS would say something like " I just want to go to the boardwalk.." While the kids and I were in the hotel room, I would watch her go to her car, grab her cell phone, and walk away talking to the other a$$.She insists they are just friends.. And she sees nothing wrong with this, in fact seems to be mad that I would see something disrespectful here.<P> OK - if I set out to find a really, really bad friend, how would they act? And how do these WS act? And we want them because..? <P> BioMan - I have lately come to agree with your assesment. The friends line holds true to serve the purpose of the WS. Reduces guilt, a way of managing the BS; of keeping some degree of control. If you have the nerve to do something that is outside of what is "allowed" , watch the claws come out. Oh, yeah, life is good.<BR> <BR> But it will get MUCH better.<P>

I got the "I love you like a friend or a sister" line six weeks into our separation. Well if he treated any of his sisters the way he's treating me, they'd hit him a good one. And as for a friend? I've seen him treat the lady at the till in the supermrket with more courtesy and respect than I have had in the last eight and a half weeks.<P>What a load of bulls***. It is just another ruse to make them feel better. I am already getting sick of it.