I just got a very interesting phone call from a friend of mine from work. It would appear that I could have been played for the biggest fool this side of Gomer Pyle. Check this bull**** out.....<P>For some months now I have known that a good friend of mine has been cheating on his wife. I have kept this information to myself and away from his wife who suspected nothing...until now. His excuses got lamer and he spent more time away from home to be with his "girlfriend". A friend of mine, Jason, called me about 45 minutes ago and cleverly put my friend's wife on the phone. She grilled me about what I knew of her husband's actions. At first I tried to play it off, but when I realized she knew everything anyway I confirmed the info she had. It means that I no longer have a friend. What's very interesting is that, in return for my honesty, ablbeit late, she told me some info about MY WIFE!! Evidently, the "friend" I've been going to for a shoulder to cry on has been stabbing me in the back for months. He told his wife during a fight that he doesn't give a **** about me and my situation and that Robyn could do so much better than me. I also found out from Jason, who was in the same dilemma I was about not telling one person that a spouse is cheating, that MY WIFE slept with Brian. Brian bragged to Jason about how good my wife was. He said he could definately see why I married her. If this is true, this means that I have an enemy.<P>I have another friend who's name is also Brian...let's call him Brian K...who has had a crush on my wife basically since he met her. I found out from Jason that Brian K. and my wife were seen by other people in my unit holding hands and hugging at a Denny's on a day she "forgot" about having plans with me and was supposedly in Denver. I'm going to check on this tomorrow. If it is true, then I will be filing divorce papers myself and she will get not a GODDAMNED thing from me. <P>I have never cheated on my wife. I have never even allowed myself to be in a position where the possibility of infidelity would exist. I have loved my wife truly and faithfully. The thoughts and images that are going through my head are making my stomach churn. I want to vomit. I want to scream. I don't know what to do!!<P>I feel as low and as worthless as I did the night I found out my wife had moved out, but this time I have this incredible rage inside me. I don't know how I can be expected to face these people I thought were my friends on a daily basis because every time I talk to them all I will hear are the sounds my wife and I made. When I see them, I'll see them with my wife. <P>Normally I would be inclined to say these things are rumors and not to be believed, but similiar rumors involving my wife came to light a year ago. I dismissed them, naturally, because they involved my wife. Now these rumors surface again...with new ones on top...and I'm expected to just let them slide off? LMAO I don't think so. Not this time. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. <P>As for those two Brians who evidently became friends with me to get to my wife...they need to be careful. I am a loyal friend, through thick and thin, but now I will value them as much as they valued me. <P>And my wife...my beautiful, evidently two-faced, sexy wife. If I find out that ANY of these rumors are true, then she made the biggest mistake of her young life. I will take her to court and get the thong off her [censored] for this. I would have died for her, if necessary. All I expected was a little honesty and some commitment. Evidently she didn't have any to give. <P>We'll see what happens, for good or for bad. <P>------------------<BR>Don't look back. You never know what is gaining on you.

What you are feeling is a normal reaction to this dilema, take some time step back and read everything on this site. Read the post here go back and read some old post, do not make any rash decisions or react out of anger or pain. take your time and reflect on your marriage and make sure you have the truth<P>

I remember all that anger. So much anger you feel you are going to be overwhelmed and crushed. <P>I'm so sorry you are hearing such stories. Despite my x's EAs, I truly don't believe he ever had a PA and now you feel that the possibility exists that your w has been unfaithful. That must hurt incredibly.<P>I don't have any profound words of wisdom. But I do know that you can't take words back once they leave your mouth and that you have to live with the consequences of your actions. And sometimes those consequences go on and on, forever. Be careful what you say and do.<P>Do you have a counselor? It sounds like you might need one to help you deal with the range of emotions you must feel now. Would your wife consider going with you in an effort to try to resolve your marital issues?

I agree with the above posts. And especially the part about what is said can not be taken back. Be careful and take time to think things through before you react. <P>I am so sorry for this happening to you. I always thought it was the man that cheated until I have been on these boards. I know I am sorry for saying that but it is how many people see it. I can understand those feelings been there done that years ago, with my first love. I hated him for what he had done over and over again...but, years down the road I learned from that...I am stronger because of it. I would die if I heard my STBX was with someone else, even if I did not want to get back with him. I do wonder often but all that does is get me more sad and resentful. So I try not to.<P>If you dearly love your wife and would like to work things through suggest counseling.<P>I know it will be difficult but always keep your faith....<BR>It will get you through lifes most difficult times.<P>K

wolfen, good for you use the anger. God didnt give us the ability to be angry for nothing. Its a self defense mechanism. Let the anger help you to free yourself from an toxic relationship. As a friend once said when he and his wife split, he thought the world had ended. Now , looking back he will tell you it was the best thing that ever happened to him. Be strong