How low is my W willing to go. Yesterday I was unable to contact my Kids as I found out later by phoning my wife , that she had taken my kids cell phone with her to work and had switched it off. This was at 18:00 . I then asked my W if she would ask my children to phone me when she got home. She did not even tell them. I later found out that my Mother-in-law had contacted my Father ( First time in 10 weeks ) and told my Father that My eldest son had not gone to school and that he had a sort of buckle mark of a belt on his leg and told my father it was an accident . She also asked my Father how the kids behaved when they where with me at their house ( No problems my father answered )as they are uncontrollable and naughty when they are with my W. She also accused me of turning the kids against my W . This really gets to me, as she has supported my wife’s actions all along ( Letting my wife bring the OM into my house only after I had left home for 2 days and the agreement with me and W was that I give her 4 weeks space for her to think about our marriage. <BR>I have contacted my lawyers which intern have set up an appointment for my kids to see a Psychologist this Saturday. My Layers are so bewilder by my W actions. She is playing right into my hands.<P>I just wish and pray that my W will come back to earth and out of this LA LA Land that she is in quickly, so that she can realise what she is doing with the kids emotions. If I find out that my Son has been hit , then someone is going to pay for it dearly. I still am trying to get hold of my kids, this is eating me up alive.<P><BR>

NoWill,<P>Your wifes actions are pathetic. She is way into denial. <P>She is desperatly trying to control everthing and everybody.<P>My sense is that she is in some sort of manic rush to create this perfect little world that matches all the fantasies that she had before she left you. Reality is falling way sort of the fantasy so she is trying to force the fantasy by control. <P>Boy, is this woman in for a huge crash!! <P>Her actions will destroy her childrens respect for her and the OM will soon tire of her endless struggles with the children and as soon as the next best thing comes along he will be gone.<P>Your wife will be alone, sobbing on her mother's shoulder who in turn will sooth her little girl by telling her that none of this was her fault and how the OM and you treated her so bad blah blah blah. NO growth, no accountability, no lessons learned. And the cycle continues.....next victim please.<P>I don't know, just musing. <P>BTW, if you can prove abuse by the OM or STBX can you get custody in SA? <P>Take Care. Hope you get those kids this weekend they need a break from your wife's fantasy!

That is typical of someone living in denial...IMHO anyway...I can only tell you what my lawyer told me, when they want to be this way allow it to an extent if it is only YOU who suffers and let them cut their own throats because they will and they will be the ones suffering later.<P>I am so sorry for you and kids...people should never play their kids against one and another...children are so innocent to our mistakes...why make them suffer.<P>You are doing the right thing by getting them help that they need. you are a wonderful person and do not let anyone else tell you any different.<P>K

nowill,<P>surely there is some way that she can be forced to let you have acces to your own children??? SA can't be that bad as to their opinions on fathers in cases like these!!!<P>NEVER in a million years would I ever consider not allowing my h to see his kids unless he suddenly became abusive towards them. Admittedly I placed restriction on him for this the last Sunday he will spend with them in SA this weekend - the restriction was NO HER - pretty fair, I think, so does he on reflection....anyway he is the WS and it hurts me terribly to see him. But I don't let them get together for him, though I know he loves them....I do it for THEM. They love their daddy no matter what is going on between us, nothing should be put in the way of that.<P>She is a very spoilt little girl, your wife, used to getting her own way. <P>(Sorry, deleted something here I shouldn't have said)<P><BR>I think you need to see a lawyer and get some visitation rights sorted out, and if she doesn't meet them FOR ANY REASON, drag her into court. She is manipulating you big time, and where the kids are concerned, that's just not on!<P>Take care and try to have a good weekend....don't stew, do!!!<P>------------------<BR>"When the going gets tough, the tough get going" - Nina's dad.<p>[This message has been edited by Nina too (edited September 02, 2001).]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nowilltocarryon:<BR><B>I later found out that my Mother-in-law had contacted my Father and told my Father that My eldest son had not gone to school and that he had a sort of buckle mark of a belt on his leg and told my father it was an accident . </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>NoWill,<P>That quote sent my blood pressure into low earth orbit! Belt buckle bruises are not famous for happening by accident. They are most frequently incurred from abuse, whippings and beatings. It is suggested that you get this child examined by a doctor immediately. You can also call your son's school. You can call your local police department, and you can call DHS.<P>Every time someone walks into an emergency room with a badly abused or dead child, the story is always that is was some kind of an accident. And it is always BULLS***. Please, don't ignor this, do whatever you must to protect your child. Err on the side of your child's safety. I'd a lot rather have you report this and be wrong than have you not report it and be right.<P>Prayers and stuff,<P>Bumper<BR>

It is now Saturday afternoon here in SA and Still no word form my kids since Wednesday night. My lawyers have layed down charges against my wife and Mother in-law for their actions. I have continuously left messages with both of them for the kids to call me . I think since they know that the psychologist is seeing them this afternoon they have decided not to let the kids phone me and try and brainwash the kids over the last 3 days so that when the psychologist sees my kids they ( W and Mother in-law) think that the kids real feeling will not come out. But I have got bad news for them Kids always let the truth come out . The thing that pi**s me off the most is that my W lied to me, she said that my eldest son had already seen the psychologist on Monday and that the report would be given to us the following Monday. My Lawyers contacted the psy and found out that she had seen her on Monday and that the kids will only see her on Monday. M y wife is unaware that the psy has asked me to see her on Tuesday for my Input ha ha ha.<P>Bumperii We have also reported the belt mark to her layers and the psy, so if it is true then they are in big SHI*.<P>Its just not fair all I want is to hear the voices of my beloved children . Am I asking for too much.<BR>Without my children I am nothing , My life would be empty. I have written my W off , She is now finally dead in my life.<P>I would just like to take this opportunity to thank all of you caring people for the support you have given me.<P>God Bless<BR>

Hi nowill,<P>I'm taking a break from the packing...nearly time to go back to it.<P><BR>I'm glad you reported her for the buckle mark and hopefully also her not allowing you to see the kids.....could the damage be worse than you think? Horrible thought I know, but maybe that is why she won't let you see them.<P>Do whatever you can for your children, not to get at her, not for revenge, but just because you love them and they deserve to have you in their lives.<P>Take care.<P>Nina<P><BR>

It is Sunday afternoon and still no contact with my kids. Im feeling so angry and depressed at the moment. Life is just not fair, what does she think she will achieve by her actions? , Doesn’t she see that I am not interested in her and the OM affairs, All that Im concerned about is my Kids.Does she really want to destroy my Life ? Why?, Im giving her the divorce that’s what she wants. So why cant she just leave the Kids and me alone and get on with her own selfish life and stop messing ours up.