I know a few of you are still "doing it" with your WS! But how did it make you feel after - happy, disappointed - did you regret it? What are the ramifictions legally if a divorce goes through?! Just thinking about it, but haven't done anything yet!!<P>Tina

Not that I have even had an inkling that it is possible, but the morning he was leaving, he wanted to make love one last time. I declined in a most un-Plan A sting of words. Then I said we wouldn't be making love until the separation was over. He didn't seem to like that. I didn't care.<P>Why? Because this is the 2nd A. Last time I slept with him even after knowing about OW, and I felt disgusted with myself every time. But one time I gave him a hickey (I haven't done that for years...and when she was phoning up when they split, abusing me, she called me a slut for sleeping with my own H. <P>So annoying her made me feel a LOT better!!!

I was told by a lawyer that if you file for legal separation in my state there is a one year waiting period for divorce. IF you sleep with your stbx during that time, the one year starts over from the day of the act. I forget what the state calls it, but it is a pretty funny label....<P><BR>

Back to top!!<P>Come on guys, I need a little more input from some of you others on this board!!<P>Tina

I wouldn't recommend it for the following reasonss:<P>1) emotional health - he's violated your marriage by becoming unfaithful. That has huge ramifications on both his and your emotional health... I'd not confuse it anymore by having sex until he decides to be faithful to you.<P>2) safety - is he with one other woman or more? Does he use a condom with her? This fact just makes me gag thinking about it... why should a married woman have to ask if she should be concerned about her safety with her one husband? <P>3) getting his cake and eating it too - this will not give him the opportunity to really feel or to experience what he's lost if you sleep with him also. He needs to know it's not a right but a privilege to honor and be intimate with his wife. If you sleep with him now, that becomes cheap and why would he come back? He's got his cake and eats it also... both of you! YUCK!<P>4) your esteem - I can't help but think it would be disappointing if not more! I mean you are a valuable creation of God to do HIS purpose on this earth - not your H's every whim and desire. I pray that you will feel God's love for you so that your esteem is intact inspite of what choices your H is making at this time. Your life is not his and you have every right to stand up for yourself and be strong. No, not b*&chy or overly feministic but a strong woman with a purpose. Keep that in the fore front of your mind... and then decide if it's worth it to sleep with him.<P>I've gotta run!<P>------------------<BR><I>"You will deceive yourself into believing that if people, circumstances, and events had been different, your pain would not exist...Your pain is the concrete way in which you participate in the pain of humanity."</I> <BR>~ Henri Nouwen ~

Rdhead10 - <P>NO - seperation means he should have to deal with HIS problems - and SF is HIS problem. <P>Why would you want to give up that part of yourself to someone who is unfaithful to you and uncaring. It would be like 'prostituting yourself' at the hope that he would come back. <P>My vote is just NOT TO DO IT - because you have to take care of yourself. Plan A is about taking care of you.<P>Just my 2 cents.

DON't DO IT.... That's my opinion.<P>I made the mistake of having sex while separated and even a couple times after our divorce was final. Each time I felt totally USED. I felt total guilt for my lack of strength. Don't sell ourself short. For me the next time I have sex it will be with someone I love and someone who has the ability to love me.<P>Just DON't Do it.....<P><P>------------------<BR>Love, Bill<P>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-