I wish my divorce was finalized. I have no energy and no motivation to face the day. This morning took all my will power to just get out of bed. <P>I phoned my H to get an address from him where I can send the divorce settlement agreement. He gave me his cousins address. No 1. He could have given me the address on the weekend! I thought maybe he wanted to give me a work address. No 2 He wasn’t even going to phone me! Is this man still trying to hang on to me? <P>So I phoned him now and told him the mail would reach him tomorrow and he needs to go collect it from the post office. I asked him to send back as soon as possible because then we can get a court date (yes it was meant hurt – ie if hurt gets through his thick skin). He says so you are eager to get rid of me! I said I just want to relax. He said ok. I can’t remember how the rest of the conversation went. I really just go blank sometimes. I wonder if he is feeling any pain, is he trying to hold onto me an instant longer by not giving me an address? <BR>

Pantha - I just wanted to offer my support. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who goes blank sometimes! Forgive me, I'm not familiar, but how would you feel if he was trying to hold on? I understand about the lack of energy and motivation; sometimes I have to fight from minute to minute. I refuse to stay down! Are you depressed? Do you have any support through this mess?<P> My prayers are with you.<P> Dan

Hi Dan<P>Thank you for your kind thoughts.<P>how would you feel if he was trying to hold on? <BR>I am not too sure. Definately feel a little better about myself. I wouldn't take him back unless he goes through a lot of councilling etc, but I won't even get my hopes up for that.<P>Are you depressed? Do you have any support through this mess? I think I am depressed at the moment. I am not on anti deps I was on them from Sep 2000 to June 2001. I felt they stopped me from feeling too much. This time I want to get through this and cope without them. I have my mom and brothers, but they live a distance from me. My friends are so busy with their own lives that I don't really get to see them either.

Hi Pantha,<P>What I Think about them hanging on you might not like. They will always try and stop your process as at the end of your process is acceptance and once you have reached this point there will be no turning back. They would have lost the best person in their life. Another point that Id like to mention from a previous thread I posted is that they like to see you really suffer, they get a kick from this and once you cut off from them ,their game has ended and they become frustrated. To get communication started again they will intimidate you by (Letting their friends call you, send e-mails e.g.).<P>Pantha I just wanted to as you about anti –d . Im currently on anti –d for about 8 weeks and have been put onto a course for 6 months. Tell me when you came off was there a noticeable deference? This is frightening me as what if I come off and then suddenly Im back where I started ( Hell ).<P><BR>

Pantha,<P>You do sound like you are down a little bit, that is normal. Not all depression needs to be treated with pills. Believe it or not, just watching what you eat will help. A well balanced diet and a little exercise cab work wonders with mild depression.<P>Prayers and stuff,<P>Bumper<P>

NWTCO - quick response as I have to go. When I was on them I never felt 'happy' but just ok. So I was also able to put up with a lot of **** from my H, where I wouldn't have been able to handle it before. When I stopped - he just irritated the crap out of me again, also my temper was a little shorter. Got agitated quicker. But it wears off and I think when the person causing those feelings isn't there anyway it will be ok.

Pantha,<P>I'm sorry for your pain, I remember it well. When I called my EX to tell him that I had been to the hearing and he was now a free man he told me that isn't what he wanted. I didn't know what to feel after that. Well it was only a few short weeks later and he married the OW so he must not have felt to bad about it. Some people want it all it seems and will play with your head just to keep it all. You need to do what you need to do for yourself right now.<P>Hugs<P>Jill