When you have an "I hate my job" day try this:<P>On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section.<P>You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by<BR>"Q-tip." Be very sure that you get this brand. <P>When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy. <P>Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie down on your bed.<P>Open the package and remove the thermometer. <P>Carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken.<P>Take out the written material that accompanies the thermometer and read it.<P>You will notice that in small print there is a statement:<P>"Every rectal thermometer made by Q-tip is personally tested." <P>Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, <P>"I am so glad I do not work in quality control at the Q-tip Company." <BR>

Thanks idostylin, I needed that today!!!!

<P>That is a good one!!!<P>Jill

LOL!<P>We all need a good laugh now and then. This reminded me of an email I got some time ago:<P>> > > The following are real instructions from products:<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On a blanket from Taiwan:<BR>> > > NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.<BR>> > > (damn, what am I supposed to use now?)<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On a helmet-mounted mirror used by American cyclists:<BR>> > > REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On a Taiwanese shampoo:<BR>> > > USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On the bottle-top of a British flavoured milk drink:<BR>> > > AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On a New Zealand insect spray:<BR>> > > THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.<BR>> > ><BR>> > > In an American guide to setting up a new computer:<BR>> > > AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM<BR>> > > TEMPERATURE<BR>> > > BEFORE OPENING.<BR>> > > (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On a packet of American Sunmaid raisins:<BR>> > > WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On an American Sears hairdryer:<BR>> > > DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On a bag of American Fritos-brand Corn Chips:<BR>> > > COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The<BR>> > > shoplifter's<BR>> > > special...)<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box):<BR>> > > DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On a Korean kitchen knife:<BR>> > > WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:<BR>> > > FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.<BR>> > > (As opposed to ___?)<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On a Japanese food processor:<BR>> > > NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.<BR>> > > (Now I'm curious...)<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On British Sainsbury's peanuts:<BR>> > > WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.<BR>> > > (hmm...)<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On an American Airlines' packet of nuts:<BR>> > > INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.<BR>> > > (I'm glad they cleared that up.)<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On a Swedish chainsaw:<BR>> > > DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On a Canadian child's Superman costume:<BR>> > > WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.<BR>> > > (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy)<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On some British frozen dinners:<BR>> > > SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:<BR>> > > FITS ONE HEAD.<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On packaging for a Rowenta iron:<BR>> > > DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On a British Boots' Children's Cough Medicine:<BR>> > > DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On a British Nytol Sleep Aid Tablets label:<BR>> > > WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.<BR>> > ><BR>> > > On British Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:<BR>> > > PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.<BR>> > ><BR>> > > Paint Stripper Heat Gun:<BR>> > > NOT TO BE USED AS A HAIRDRYER.<P>

LOL!!!

<B>The following are real instructions from products:</B><BR>The real funny story about this is most of these warnings are placed on the items AFTER the company has been sued when people used them in the ways on the warnings!<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Well, this isn't really funny, but I'll tell it anyway...<P>A friend of mine was pregnant and smoking, and she once asked the guy in the store to not give her the pack that said <P>WARNING: SMOKING WHILE PREGNANT CAN HARM YOUR BABY<P>She was joking, and it was kinda funny at the time, but Geez!!!!<P>Well, I smoke, but never when I was pregnant!!!