For those who don't know, WS had a semi EA with two of her friends that she wouldn't give up. I did my part to screw things up as well by not meeting her EN's. We both don't know if we want to risk this again, yet neither of us is willing to file. Although I had been plan B'ing, this is a response to an email she sent, and will be my last until she makes further contact.<P>Her email:<P>Hi xxxx,<P>I think the reason that I act so hostile towards you is because it is a<BR>defense mechanism for me. Sometimes I think it will make things easier for<BR>me. I do not mean to act so mean to you. After all we have shared a lot<BR>together. You have been apart of my life for almost 10 years. I would like<BR>to think I am doing the right thing, but I will never know that for certain.<BR> Right now I just need to follow what I think is best for me, even if I<BR>regret it later. Live and learn. I truly hope that we can still be<BR>friends. Besides if it is really meant to be our hearts will find a way to<BR>be together like they have in the past. I hope that you are doing well.<BR>One day when I have the courage I will call you. Feel free to call me I<BR>really don't mind.<P>Excerpt of my response:<P>I think I sort of understand why you've been mean to me. I think a part of you wants me to lash out<BR>back at you so that you can say to yourself 'yes this is the jerk I want to leave' and it will be<BR>easier for you. Problem is I've been doing the right things and being nice, and that makes it hard.<BR>I understand. Your thinking is 'did he really change like he says he did?' and better yet, 'will the<BR>changes last?'. I honestly don't know. My thinking is 'will she betray me again?' and 'will she run<BR>away from our problems again?' and we both are afraid to take the risk. I have been feeling much better<BR>lately, and I hope you have too. I remember a scene from the movie 'The Mexican' where julia roberts<BR>asks brad pitt 'When two people really love each other, but they just can't seem to get it together,<BR>when do you finally say enough is enough?' and brad pitt answers correctly 'never'. Sadly, I truly<BR>think this applies to us. We just can't get it together...and yet we can't say enough is enough.<BR>Who knows, maybe ten years from now we will meet again in some crosswalk like in the movies...<BR>then again maybe not. It used to make me really sad when we broke up when I thought about life <BR>without you. But now I know that I will always have memories of you in my life, and therefore you will <BR>always be a part of my life, and that makes me feel better. I think we would have a great friendship <BR>considering how much we have in common, and that we know each other so well. I think what I'm <BR>afraid of is that we will become such good friends that we will never take the next step because we <BR>won't want to blow a good thing. Please be patient and give me some time with that one, because <BR>I'm not sure yet. I've gone through all the stages and am finally back to normal. Anyway, I promised <BR>myself this would be the last time I wrote about this situation to you, so after this you'll probably get <BR>emails that are not so deep. Take care and be good to yourself.<P><BR>Feel free to post feedback.

I think she already has regrets, and has opened the door and is asking you to take the first steps by calling her. actually she took first step with email and said to call. She doesn't blame you for what she did and is feeling you out. It seems to me the two of you need to learn to take the conflict out of your marriage, there doesn't have to be a right and a wrong here, each of you is entitled to an opinion, I think you should give her a call and express your feelings, Yes you might open yurself up to some pain, but you have nothing to loose at this point and everything to gain.