Another twist in my sad tale. Wife emailed this morning and asked if I would split every weekend with her. She takes them Friday Night and Saturday, I take them Saturday night and Sunday day. She said this would help her emotionally. I of course agreed, but at what point do I stop helping and let her feel the consequences of her choice? I already probably do too much for her as it is. That is what everyone is saying, but the fact is I still love her and I am going to do it. It hurts though. Anybody ever done this before? She is coming over Saturday to help clean the house and go through things and split them up. I almost asked her not to come. It hurts to be splitting up pictures and stuff knowing that she has said she is leaving me. Any advice? I am trying to look at this as an opportunity, but it just seems like one more step towards splitsville.

My x and I still, after 6 years, usually split weekends. We are moving toward every other weekend - due to his marriage last fall. <P>But our children were 4 and 2 when he left and it was too much for the youngest one to be gone from me for a whole weekend. And it was too much for him to go for a week or more without seeing his father. <P>So, x sees his children on Tuesday evenings and 1 evening each weekend - either 3 p.m. Friday till 3 p.m. Saturday or 3 p.m. Saturday until 8 a.m. Sunday. I have the other evening. They come home on Sundays for church and then spend that afternoon and evening with me. I know it is in the children's best interest to see their dad, to know him, and to love him. But, I don't grieve too much for him since he started this mess. He doesn't know the half of what he did. <P>I do my best to let them see him regularly. I remind them each evening to call him. (You would think, after 6 years of this, that they would remember.) And I give him almost all the extra time he requests. And then throw in some more. <P>(I do hope he is enjoying my current relationship - with a man who lives a long way from me. It means he gets to see his children more. But it is kind of weird to need your x's cooperation so you can have a date with the man of your dreams.)

This is sort of what my STBX & I are doing. Not sure how it started, because he 1st said that he was getting them 3 weekends a month from 6 pm Fri till Sun 6 pm. Now I never agreed to it. <P>Maybe because of traffic on FRi nights he comes Sat morning (most cases) & returns YS Sat afternoon. OS is 17 & he may or may not go depending on his social life or what he wants out of his dad.<P>He is taking them about 3 wkends a month, if long weekend he may have for 2 days depending on what boys want. Also he usually sees them twice during the wk. He does visit with YS in my home some as YS doesn' always want to go hand out at football practice. Hard but we live an hr & half from each other so there is no other way. <P>Hey it is time he is not at his new home with OW.<P>as of now it is working, YS wouldn't go that often if he wasn't made to go.