I need advice, it is interesting that I would choose strangers to talk to rather than friends, but I guess we all need someone who doesn't have any emotions vested into the relationship.<P>I am fairly a newlywed, just made my first year and since my world has not stopped spinning. I love my husband but I'm not happy at all. At his urging we got into debt early on, our sex life is really poor, he's been unemployed for 6 months w/out collecting unemployment. I've talked til I can't talk anymore about what I need and want from this relationship, I had the misconception that this was a partnership but I am doing it all- I'm the source of comfort for him when a job doesn't go through, I'm the one cleaning the house, paying the bills, keeping our virtually non existant love life alive and I am worn, and tired. And I am afraid that if I continue in this marriage, we will bring children into this marriage, and I'll be unhappy forever. On top of all this mess, he wants me to get pregnant. So my question is how long do you stay with someone when you see no future together?

As youhave only been married a short time w/no kids, you have an advantage as to what you must consider. Part of your Husbands problem could be depression over not having a job. How old are you guys? What type of work does he do? What type of work do you do? How long were you two together prior to marriage? How have things changed? Have you tried marriage counselling? If not I would suggest it. If $$$ is a problem there are good books out there on the subject. When is enough enough, only you can answer that. If you can look yourself in the mirror and say I did everything I could to make this relationship work,and its not repairable, then its time to say it. By ALL MEANS do not get pregnet. Having a child will only complicate matters. I find it hard to believe your unemployed husband is pushing you on this issue.

May I recommend counseling? For you as individuals and as a couple. And birth control, too. You have enough to deal with without having a baby. In reality, you're husband may very well be depressed. Losing a job is a great source of stress as in getting married. So, I would urge you to hurry to counseling. I know that the first counselor(s) you try may not be a good fit. And, since money seems to be an object, you could try your community mental health programs. There are often a number of publicly funded ones and there are community service agencies which operate on a sliding scale fee schedule.

I have recently found myself in a similiar position. My H and I just had our 1 year anniversary on Aug. 19th and, didn't celebrate. I have felt the same way in my marriage. I am responsible for doing everything, our sex life was miserable and there was no passion.....Plus, my H wanted me to get pregnant also, said that would make our marriage better......IT WON'T!! Anyway, I have been unhappy for so long, and just a little over a month ago, we called it quits. We tried counseling, it didn't change anything. I don't know if the advice I will give you is helpful, but here goes.... If you are truly that unhappy, get out now - you don't have any children, you haven't been married that long, and you still haven't lost yourself. I know that isn't what anyone wants to hear, but, from personal experience I can tell you that I am happier everyday because of the decision I made. I realized how much I was compromising to try to make it work with a man who didn't want to change.