<small>[ August 08, 2004, 03:27 PM: Message edited by: laura_lee ]</small>

laura_lee - great message. Thanks

I forgive my h this time easier than I did last time, because I know that if I don't it just eats me up. Also, this time I am aware that there is something not quite right about him, so in a way he isn't all that responsible for his actions. Call me a fool....<P>I pray to ease his mind, and to let him see the light. Maybe one day....

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nina too:<BR><B>. Also, this time I am aware that there is something not quite right about him, so in a way he isn't all that responsible for his actions. Call me a fool....</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Okay, so he's not "quite right" in what way?? and WHY<BR>isn't he responsible for his actions?? if he isn't who is??<P>I was the WS and I am responsible for my actions..even if their were "issues" from my past that contributed to my thinking process, it's still my responsiblity to heal from that in order to grow..to be a healthy person..

Years ago I came across a quote -- I don't remember who said it and I doubt I ever knew if the person was a Christian -- but he said, "The problem with holding a grudge, is that while you're sitting at home nursing a grudge, they're out dancing".<P>I have made a deliberate effort to forgive my ex-wife, because I don't want to spend the rest of my life sitting around being angry. When I have to deal with her -- which usually means something to do with the children -- I am always polite and I try to be nice and pleasant. I don't know if she cares or not, but what she thinks is between her and God. There was a time -- just before and just after she left me -- when I would spend hours just seething with anger over this or that thing she'd done. Did that help any? Surely my anger contributed to her leaving, and even while I was doing it it certainly didn't make me feel any better.

Thornedrose, I hope you didn't think I was having some sort of dig at WS's...I was referring to my H and him alone. This man is, I am certain in the middle of a nervous breakdown, for which he refuses to get help. He may as a thinking adult be responsible for his actions, but he is NOT thinking straight.<P>My mother went through a NB, without an A, but I have lived through this with her, and they symptoms he presents are exactly the same. <P>That's what I meant.