My H, who ended his affair about 6 weeks ago, and I made love (I guess you would call it that) yesterday. He called me about two minutes after he left the house to tell me it was a mistake and it didn't mean we are getting back together. I told him I didn't think it did and that we could just enjoy it for what it was. He said he was feeling very guilty. I didn't make a big deal out of it at least to him.<P>It did hurt my feelings - I knew it would, but I think it might be one step in the right direction. <P>One of his major reasons for wanting a divorce is because I didn't want to have sex with him. I do now.<P>When he left, it was like a wake-up call. <P>Was I wrong in what I did? I keep thinking I need to try to meet his needs, since that is why he left. I just don't know how long I can hold on when I'm not getting anything in return. I want to make things work. I still love him after everything. <P>Oh, just so you know, when he left me there was no one else involved. She picked him up at a bar. He's 38, she's 46. She's been stalking him since he broke up with her. He's definitley found out that I at least an not totally bad.<P>

May,<P> Listen, these things happen. Your swimming in emotions that you have never felt before. It would be hard for anyone here to tell you if what you did was right or wrong without being you. Cut yourself some slack.<P> My STBXW and I have slipped a few times during our separation. I am fairly confident that it won't happen again any time soon. I could see that down the road, after the divorce, if neither of us were in a relationship that we might slip again but who knows. <BR> We all are human beings here.<BR> I don't know much about your situation but I hope things work out for you.<P>Take care of yourself,<BR>DS

Maysville,<P>Isn't this a good thing?<BR>I thought it was in my case. <P>-AD

No its not wrong!! <P>He's still your H right? You still want to be married, and your unwillingness in this area is a problem for him...so, demonstrating your willingness now is not a bad thing IMHO.<P>Just remind yourself if it happens again, that you can't expect anything and that its just what is. Shut off those emotions that will make you expect him to want to reconcile because you had sex.<P>Just let it be and enjoy it.<P>------------------<BR><I>Pain is a given, misery is optional.</I>