Just found yesterday that my h is seeing someone else which now makes it his 3 time of cheating that I know at this time. Two affairs now which I have stumbled on and one he confessed to being a one night stand. Let me tell you it wasn't a pleasant day yesterday for me to go through his computer and discovering another woman name that he had hid hidden on a steamy greeting card site and learned he had been sending hot romantic letters to her for some time. He's says that they are just friends. And that he has every right to have friendships with other women and keep them hidden because I am so jealous of the attentions he dotes. I can only imagine all the other decpetions he has kept hidden.Well the damn has burst and lies have become a tidal wave for him.He's like a lion backed into a corner now that I have caught him again but I too am just as angry.How can anyone be so cold blooded and cruel. This OW is only a inkling how sick our relationship has been. His Love bank is a bottom less pit no matter how much love, time, devotion and understanding etc it's all been taken, used to empower himself and his schemes. My heart can take so much and he is quick to share his love and attentions with other woman but me. Enough is enough what little of me is left I should salvage. So it's best I suck it up, stop allowing myself to be a naivee, dumb victim and let him bring on the divorce papers and put this pathetic relationship of it's misery. <BR>

Keep taking care of yourself<P>

Hi Mayday,<P>How long have you been married?

Welcome mayday ... <BR>This is my general welcome post for all new people, and although I know you have posted before, you are pretty new, so I thought these links might be helpful.<P>This greeting is geared toward people whose spouses had an affair (A), but since your H has had multiple A's, it can help your situation as well!! <P>It has a couple of links to many of the most important MB (Marriage Builder) sites.<P>Click here ==> General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies) <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html</A> <P>About your post... <P>Before you head straight into divorce, you may want to consider starting Plan B (which is explained on this link along with Plan A)... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html</A> <BR>Normally, I might advise people to start with Plan A, but your situation is unique, in that your H has had multiple A's and is still continuing to have A's. There is clearly a component involved here such as a personality disorder or a psychological problem that he will have to deal with in order to be an active participant in your marriage, and that's why I'm suggesting that you look at Plan B.<P>For general good info, though, you might want to check out this post Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.), by a very wise, good friend named NSR (Jim). <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html</A> <P>Plan A is not about trying to win back a Wayward Spouse(WS) from an affair, whether it is and Emotional Affair (EA) or a Physical Affair (PA). It is what you should be doing to build/rebuild yourself first... and then your marriage! <BR>It is about becoming the person that you have the potential to be—the person that God intended for you to be!<P>I will share with you my story a little. My H left me 1 1/2 years ago for another woman--he did have a physical A with her. When he left, like you I started to learn the ways in which I had contributed to our problems, and make changes for the better to myself. I began to become the woman, mother and wife that God intended for me to be. I had to learn how to forgive the past. I had to learn how to speak up for myself and be brave. I had to do a lot of humbling things. But I also learned how to have joy again, how to find satisfaction and peace within myself, and how to Give when my H was not able to give back to me. You can do it too. That way, whether or NOT your H admits that he has a problem and starts to deal with and work on his issues, you will be a better person, a better woman, and a better wife. <P>If you have drifted away from your faith (whatever that may be) consider rediscovering it. This step too, has helped countless marriages and marriage builders. <P>You are in my thoughts and prayers. <P><BR>CJ<BR><P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.