<BR>I am angry and I need to vent.<P>My teenage children are self-destructing right before my eyes and my STBXH could care less. He has not even spoken to them since this past January. He has made absolutely no effort to show them he cares about them.<P>My daughter has gained at least 30 pounds since he left a year and a half ago. She asked me how she could expect anyone to love her when her own father doesn't even love her. IT BROKE MY HEART! <P>And my son has gone from an honor role student to recieving two F's on his last report card. He is very angry and depressed. His stomach bothers him alot and he often has headaches. We talk alot about things, but I can't be a male role model or his Dad no matter how hard I try.<P>My STBXH has not provided any child support since he left april 2000. He was supposed to pay the tuition for our daughters community college semester last month, but he said he did not have enough money (even though he makes quite alot more than I do - and his yearly income could be considered very comfortable). I asked him if he could pay for therapy for the kids (his insurance still covers them). He again told me that he is strapped for cash. He has gone to therapy for the last 2 years. (We have seperate bank accounts.)<P>My H wants to split our assets in half - 1/2 for him, 1/2 for the children and me. I have been seriously considering this - even though I will be responsible for the children while they are in college but too old for court ordered child support. In light of the events above, I am now considering asking for anything I can get in the settlement. I am afraid that I will have to support the children entirely myself. This will make him very angry though. And he is very good at portraying the "pitiful, emotionally fragile" victim - even though he left us after 22 years of marriage for a woman he met over the internet. I keep feeling sorry for him because he is so screwed up. And then I wonder if I am falling into the trap of trying to be too nice and kind instead of looking out for myself and the kids. When he left, he showed how much he cares about our welfare. His view is that he wants a divorce for "my own good". And he wants to use my lawyer. He said it would be less expensive, but I am afraid that he also does not want someone to be looking out for the best interests of me and the kids. What do you guys think?<P>Lisa<P>------------------<BR>Character is determined by what you do when no one is watching.

Lisa,<P>Don't let him have anything - fight for all of it. 'Fair' is not part of a divorce when you are taking care of the kids. It doesn't even exist. <P>My STBX doesn't have time for our four kids, doesn't send any support, and barely even asks about them - if someone else brings them up. He's a total JERK. <P>If you have to support your kids, you need all the assets - fight for your kids!<P>Jan