i want to write how i am feeling today... i want to write about my behavior, his behavior, the demise of my mairriage, but it seems so silly to be thinking of this when there is a world crisis going on... i know life goes on, but i feel different some how... i kind of see how much worse things could be... <BR>but i still hate that i am loosing my h at this point and time... i hate that we are constantly fighting over who's fault it is and who hurt who the most... this is a never ending fight, because we each have our own pain and each feels they were more violated than the other... how can you measure or downplay another persons pain of the heart? you can't... we are bothe wrong...it is so frustrating... i don't know how to get out of this type of constant, unresolvable conflict... it will be never ending if something is not done, but what to do??? <P>i feel so frustrated, so sad, so angry, so aaaggghhhhhhhh... i just can't seem to function properly... i know there is things i need to do, but where do i start, where do i end... helpppppppppppp!!!

i'm bumping this just because i need somebody to talk to me...

I don't know that I have any words for you but I want you to know that I'm here.<P>The events yesterday, really make all our problems seem pretty petty, don't they?<P><P>------------------<BR>Love, Bill<P>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-

It takes two to create a conflict, If you can accknowledge he has a right to his opinion and the way he see's things, and let him have his say with out looking at it as an attack on you or blaming you, If you can just listen and acknowledge what he has to say will out confronting him or being a threat to him, the conflict will end and he will soon respond differently to you.<P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LostHusband:<BR><B>I don't know that I have any words for you but I want you to know that I'm here.<P>The events yesterday, really make all our problems seem pretty petty, don't they?<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>yes they do... but thanks for looking in on me NE way ...

that is easier said than done... <P>i don't want to be blamed or accused any more than he does and he is the ws, so why should i take all the blame... i just want it to stop... from both sides...

Try posting under General Questions you may find alot more support.<P>Are you already in D procedings ?<P>

"(insert name here), I understand that you feel hurt and disappointed that our marriage has come to this. I do to. I don't know when, how, or why it started. Would you be willing to meet me at a counselor's office and start talking with someone who could help us sort out some of these issues?"

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by louser:<BR><B>Try posting under General Questions you may find alot more support.<BR>Are you already in D procedings ?<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>yes, my d will be final any day... i am just sitting and waiting...

((((((((((((((KIM))))))))))))))))))<P>Blaming each other is not the ideal situation, and it sounds like there is a lot of anger still in both of you. Which everyone here says is a good thing, because it is conflict stage, and can move back to the intimacy stage...but you need ways to communicate.<P>There is an article here somewhere on the three stages of marriage by the Harleys which gives good advice about this. I'll try to find it and post its location to you.<P>Got all your emails Kim, some just had a lot of addys at the top and nothing else.<P>The time difference here is enormous. It's something like 17 hours...I think we are ahead of you in time. I find I can get some responses in the morinings and late in my night.<P>Take care.<P>Jacky

Not much I can add except arguing over who is to blame is wasted energy. My guess is fault always runs both ways, maybe at different times. The divorce apparently is over except to finalize it. Don't argue with him-unless he attacks you as a mom, then by all means speak up or do it in writing for other reasons. Don't go down to his level and certainly never feel stupid. Lee