I am totally fed up with my H. Even though we have only been separated since July 24, he is making no effort in wanting to make this marriage work. Out of 3 counseling sessions, we have only made it to 1 because he couldn't make the first one and then yesterday couldn't go because he hurt his back. About 2-3 weeks ago he kept calling me to go out and do something, then kept canceling the plans every time because this or that came up. So what do I think? That he could give a flying S*@& about our marriage and that his friends and freedom are more important. <P>I called an attorney already and he told me that a straight shot divorce, not even setting foot in court, just splitting bills, etc. he would need a $750.00 retainer fee up front and that might cover all costs. Is that too much money, can I get this cheaper. I know the H would not get an attorney.

Cheaper if you use mediator but that only works for couples who can pretty much agree on how to devide everything. And when you have a clear picture and all the paperwork on everythign you have to divide. $750 retainer covering everything if you dont go to court is awsome deal from an attorney compared to prices in my area. My attorney retainer is $1000 that doesnt cover him doing 1 single minute of work. That is just a fee to retain his 23 years of experience. From minute one I am charged $200 an hour in 15 minute incriments. Thats pretty much the going rate around here. He advised a straight shot no court divorce would cost $1600 to $2000. 3 to 5 hours of work.

I've been checking out divorce message boards at places like divorcesource.com and divorcenet.com. People there were talking about attorney bills running at $5,000, and one where there was a dispute $20,000. That made my knees knock against each other just thinking about it. They sounded like cases that went to court. I'm pretty ignorant about the attorney/legal aspect of divorce. You can get divorced without going to court? I didn't know that. <P>wdid, how did you find and choose your attorney?

The attorney I spoke with said that you don't need to go to court to get divorced. The state of Pennsylvania has a 90 waiting period after the papers are delivered. Which means that you have 90 days to change your mind about the divorce, etc. If there are no disputes with how bills are to be split or any other disputes then there is no reason to set foot in a court room. One thing that got me is that I told the attorney that I am not selling the house and am going to keep it because I know I can survive on my own. He told me that I would have to split half the money that was already paid into the house with the H. I told him that's a bunch of crap because I would have the house payment for 27 more years.<P>I may be jumping the gun about this divorce stuff but I need to know where I stand if it should happen. I'm done playing these games with my H and if he's showing no interest in making this marriage work I need to get on with my life.

I paid a $5k retainer for my divorce.<P>$750 sounds like a very reasonable price to make sure that your interests are protected.<P>------------------<BR><I>Pain is a given, misery is optional.</I>