<BR>Well all, I am still here alive and semi well.<BR>I have not heard anthing about the support issue. I have tried calling domestic relations several times. Without of course any call back or anythig in regards to support.<BR>The ex has thou in fact stated that he wants to give me something in terms of money. This past weekend I got him (son) winter clothes and a new coat. So he did acknowledge that. Ithink that is a good thing?<BR>Work has been going ok.<P>But for some reason lately I seemed to have lost my place. In a sense of belongig somewhere. I don't know what is up with that. <BR>At one time I feel on top of the world where life couldn't be better. And then there is a time like this at this very moment where I feel I'm in a glass experiment tube, and can't get out.<BR>Where it is almost 3am and I know I have to get up in 4 hours to go to work. I can not sleep...<BR>Even Happy Bear is not working tonight.<BR>I geuss my biggest problem as I realize this as I type: is the let downs and not that anyone person has let me down. More so that I let myself down... <BR>I tend to look more into something than I should. As someone would say it "I grasp at straws" or as I would say anything I can for that bit of hope in normalcy and belonging.<BR>I just want to add this has nothing to do with the ex.... <BR>It is just people in general<BR>BOY I NEED A VACATION.<BR>I think a part of this is I dwell on things instead of letting go..<BR>I always feel the need to make a point when I feel the need and I get my hopes up so high and when they fall they crash.. Which seems to set me back months..<BR>Well I am done rambling..<P>Wishing everyone well<BR> Janet

Hmmmm... To me it sounds like you are being way too hard on yourself. I think you feel like everyone is judging you (test tube)??? But you are probably wrong! I think you are being hard on yourself? Am I right?<P>It's going to be okay. To me, it also sounds like you need a good, hard, long, sweaty workout. That can make you feel really good--afterwards--that is! Try it?<P>You wouldn't believe what a good sweat will do for ya to get those endorphins going in your brain to give you back that overall feeling of well-being. GO FOR IT! Take care of yourself! {{{{{HUGS}}}}} p.s.Plus working out helps you sleep better!

Well I Don't know about the working out bit!!!! (I do a little)...<BR>But you are right thou I am being to hard on myself. I geuss things just don't happen quick enough for me the way I want them too...<BR>I just have had to many let downs this past year... I geuss I am tired of being let down. Of course who wouldn't right... <BR>Anyway thank you for the input..<BR>Wishing us all well<BR>Janet