Well, it is done. The lawyer I picked is a bulldog and he says my H will be served next week. I feel so bad. I wish there was something I could have done to prevent this. There just wasn't. For 6 months I've been hanging on to hope that my H would think about what he wanted and decide that he should be with his family. <P>Even this morning I told him that I appt was today. I said I hated to ask but because I have the appt today, I needed to know something. I asked him if anything had changed. <P>He didn't answer or make eye contact, just stood there with his head down. After about 15 seconds of silence, I said "I'll take that for a NO". I said that I had to cancel the appt on Wednesday because I was called out of town on an overnight business trip but I had rescheduled for today. He said "Why don't you cancel this one too?" I said Why? He said " Why not?". I wanted to say give me some reason why I should and I will but I didn't go there. I could tell from his body language and facial expression that nothing has really changed. He didn't want me to file for divorce but he isn't ready to work on fixing things either. <P>I hate this. I didn't want to do this but I had to protect myself and my children. I could not live in limbo forever and it was clear that he has no intentions of stopping this process. I'm sure little miss **tch is rejoicing in the streets right about now. <P>He did come to the house and help me with some projects on Wed night. I had asked him and he said he would be glad to help me. I am now a novice at replacing ceramic tiles and applying polyurethane to doors. We are a good team. It makes me so sad that we get along so well and how good we are together. I still feel like I could tell him anything. <P>He will not try and he will not give up OW. I need more from him than just friendship so I guess divorce is the next step. At least once we are divorced, I can have sex with him and destroy OW's confidence. Oops, I don't think I supposed to say that out loud. <P>I hope everyone has a good weekend. Go and worship if you can. God Bless America!<P>Lynn

LMAO, maybe you werent suppose to say it out loud but I sure got a kick out of it. I have wonder if I'll still get to have sex w/ my H if we divorce. But good sex alone is not a reason to stay married!!! Have a great weekend.

Lynn,<P>I have to ask, what stopped you from asking give me a good reason...I would have, it would have been out in a second. <P>I don't know your H but it sounds from your description that he was devastated by the news. Maybe this is good? Maybe you pushed him just a little? Maybe you will sleep with him again legitimately? <P>Oh wow, this is so big...I won't do it, for the simple reason that my H started this mess and he can finish it. In the meantime I am just going to get on with my life and look after my kids. It must have been hard on you to file.<P><BR>(((((((((((((((LYNN)))))))))))))))))))))<P>I am so sad it had to come to this.<P>Love and light, <P>Jacky

Lynn -<P>I filed for divorce on Tuesday. I'm just fed up with the lies my H is giving me. I didn't even know he hasn't been living with his mother for the last 2 weeks. He's been living with a guy from work (so he says). I too need to get on with my life and not have to sit and wonder if he's telling me the truth that he's coming back. <P>After cancelling 3 counseling sessions and not making any efforts in showing me he wants our marriage to work, that's all I needed to make up my mind. He may have told me on Tuesday he wanted a divorce and I could have waiting and let him file for it but I want it done and over with. I'm giving him what he wants and I'm getting what I need (a piece of mind).<P>I don't think anything could possibly open up my husband's eyes about changing his mind or saying he mad a mistake and doesn't want a divorce. I don't think he will even hesistate one second in signing the divorce papers. He says he likes the way his life is now and likes his freedom and being with his friends. Goes to show who and what is important in his life.

Jacky,<P>I don't know what stopped me. I guess I knew that re-hashing the same ol' same ol' wouldn't change anything. I told him 3 days before I made the appointment and today it was a week since he knew what my intentions were. Not once during this time has he said, don't do this or can't you wait, etc. I didn't do this to get a reaction from him but he doesn't look well. He has started complaining of the stomach problems and generally fatigue again. I think the stress is really getting to him. <P>My mom blessed him out Wed night for not getting a phone yet. I didn't get back from my trip as expected in time to get the kids from school so I called my mom to go get them. It is a 35 minute drive for her. When she got to the school , H had already picked them up and she was furious. Mostly because she knew I had already told him that I would take care of it, that he didn't have to do anything. Also, that he didn't have a phone so there was no way I could contact him. I had to rely on her because he is too lazy or afraid to get a way for people to reach him.<P>I too have been extremely frustrated over this because even if the kids were sick or got hurt, there is no way I could get a message to him until at least 11pm through the security guard at his plant. It was very inconsiderate of him to not find a way for his children to contact him if they needed him. I was sorry that my Mom went off on him but it really did need to be said. I can't protect him from the world forever. He has to grow up sometime.<P>I feel so bad. I wish I could convince my heart that my head did the right thing today. <P>Computer crashed eariler this week due to new virus. It's good to be back... I'll try to catch up on the news here and post some later.<P>Thanks to all for your responses and prayers.<P>Lynn

Peoplepleaser, I know exactly how you feel. My divorce will be final in about 10-14 days. Deep down I think I would give anything for my wife to want me back. She was the w/s. I tried the plan A stuff with no success. After 15 yrs of marriage she didnt want to work to fix it. In fact its really sad but I still dont know what happened. She tells me its all her and that I did nothing wrong or omitted to do something right. It does really bug me that I dont know what happened I can tell she isnt content with her life and therefore shes not happy. The OM is married w/3 kids. We have 2. She has some idea he will leave his wife for her I think. Do I feel sorry for myself? yea, kinda but I really would like to know why this happened. I stop and think, Is this going to be one of lifes unanswered questions? Maybe. In any event if your head tells you you cant emotionally or psychologically take any more of the crap-DONT. I think you have done the right thing. Preserve your self respect. You can always stop the process if he shows he wants to work it out. Good luck to you.

((((((((((((((((((Lynn))))))))))))))))))))<P>That's all I got time for right now. Been there and done that.<P>Hugs, Thoughts, & Prayers<P>------------------<BR>Love, Bill<P>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-