I think I did a big LB today and I don’t care. I wrote her a letter telling her that I wasn’t going to let her cheapen our marriage just because she doesn’t feel good about what’s she’s doing. After looking at some cards we wrote to each other I realized our life together was blissful. She just acted selfishly and needed something to blame it on. If she wants me back then she’ll have to work her a** off and maybe then I’ll dangle a little hope in her face and see how she likes it. Actually, I’m not going to act like that but I’m not going to try anymore. At least before she was careful in trying to hide the affair but it’s been so in my face this week I give up. I’m 31 yrs old, no kids, and make 3x the money. I need to get on with my life while I’m still young. I devoted the last 14 years to her (yes 14, she was my HS sweetheart) and I have fulfilled my obligation to her as a husband. The affair is just now coming out so soon she’ll realize she made a big mistake. She knows I post here so maybe down the road you’ll see her post instead of mine. If so, be blunt and to the point. I know this seems kind of haste but after talking to some friends I realized this is what I have to do.

Ah ha, PT,<P>You have hit the anger stage! This is a good thing. You are progressing even though you may not feel it.<P>Don't worry about the letter, we all LB through our hurt and anger from time to time...now if you want to do something about that, you need to Plan A very hard. But it sounds like you are giving yourself some time out with this.<P>That's good, too. Gather yourself, and contemplate. Allow some time for yourself and let it go for a while.<P>Listen, PT, be aware that you are very vulnerable right now, and sometimes the well-meaning friends will say things that may not necessarily be good advice. They tell you to forget her, she's this and that, move on. This advice is NOT helpful to you if you don't want this. Right at the moment of this post, you felt that you did...but everything else you wrote says otherwise. I told you, be careful who you tell...<P>I got fed up with one of my friends for a couple of reasons. She was the WS and divorced, she is still seeing her man who is still married...for six years. NOT a good choice to ask advice from. Well, she was a good listener, but after a while started telling me to move on...I did not want to. But she started saying how, being a WS she knew how my H felt and that he maybe really didn't love me...it hurt. Okay she was being honest, but it wasn't what was good support for ME. Anyway when OW was exposed, my friend is her friend too, so it made it too uncomfortable for me.<P>My best confidantes are non judgemental - they are comforting to me, they sympathise without offering unsolicited advice, and they are there for me emotionally, They have not once put either me or H down. And that helps. See, I can think he's a scumbag, but it still gets my goat if anyone else does...<P>I am waffling.<P>Please give yourself a time out...your feelings will go for a ride on the roller coaster, PT, take special care of yourself.<P>Love and light,<P>jacky

Nina too, you have been here for me from the beginning. I thank you for that. But why am I holding on? We don't have children so why should I suffer so much. I'm young enough to find someone that will really appreciate what I have to offer. Someone that will honor me and love me like I should be loved. I truly feel like I have fulfilled my obligations as a husband and I’m at peace with myself. I don't have any regrets and I’ll always know that I was the better person. Yes, there was a time that I would have taken her back unconditionally, but not anymore. I’m not saying these things out of hate or anger but I don’t want to follower her down this path of self-destruction. I’m sure that I’ll continue to post to this site and hope you’ll be there for me but I cannot continue to live this lie. I do miss her but I won’t let it ruin my life.