He doesn't answer my emails. I think that maybe if I just showed up on his doorstep to talk it would be better. But I don't know. Sometimes he seems loving and caring then he is so distant. Doesn't want to talk about it. Thinks it'll go away. I dunno. I am getting desperate to show him. Shoot I would go on national TV and apologize if that would help. I just don't know. I am so emotionally exhausted. <P>------------------<BR>*THE ONE*

I don’t know if showing up at his house I a good idea. He might just reject you and open the door for more hurt. But then again, that would show a strong commitment on your part. I think I’m calling it quits in my relationship so you won’t be hearing from my wife (remember me I used to post under the name weakmale). So, I’m feeling like you H right now and I can see why he doesn’t want to have contact with you. It only reminds him of the pain you caused and he doesn’t trust you anymore. You said you’re exhausted. Have you tried as hard and for as long as your H to get things worked out?

Hi the one,<P>You have me wondering if I should just tell my H to go to hell, and that I want a divorce. It seems to have woken you up, and also a few other WS's I have read about. <P>I know the feeling when they don't answer your emails...I only get replies to business ones, never for anything personal. It sucks, but I don't send personal ones any more, and I think it has got him thinking.<P>It is hard to advise you, I wish there were some WS's you could get input from who may have had to do the same thing.<P>I think over on one of the other boards, there is a thread recommending good WS's to talk to, cos there are some who are NOT giving good advice.<P>I'll look it up and edit my post to include the link, then you can search for some of the names. Of course, some of them have left here by now, but you can still read their posts and get some good advice.<P>Be back soon.<P>Jacky<P>Hi again,<P>Here it is:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum31/HTML/004548.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum31/HTML/004548.html</A> <P>Now you can enter their names using search, and hopefully get some good advice!<p>[This message has been edited by Nina too (edited September 22, 2001).]

Thank you I will sure look into those when my son is asleep and I have the time...LOL...<P>My H at times I think wants to tell me that he wants us to work it out. Most the time if I try to talk about he yells or gets mad. Brings up the past, throws things in my face. Asks me tons of q's that I don't really have the answers for. I think he wants so badly for me to have an answer to all his q's. He shows me almost no hope. The only thing I am holding onto is those tiny little things he has done. Maybe I am reading them wrong. The fact that he acts completely different when we are together. I am just so lost and don't know what to do. Purple Tang...This has been a battle for along time emotionally draining. You ever been in a situation that is outa your control and you want so desperately to change it. You know that it is hurting the one thing that you care about most and there is nothing you can do about it yet. Well thats me. I knew when I had to stay with OM that it would prolly kill my chances of working anything out I hope that I am wrong. But when you honestly have NO OTHER CHOICE you are stuck. Days and weeks I cried. PPl would ask what was wrong I'd say my son(b/c he was in cali with his dad) Nobody knew but my mom and a good friend in Tx what was really wrong. So go months of wanting to tell your spouse how sorry you are and how much you love them and not able too. How was he going to believe when I was with OM. He wouldn't. So keeping it to yourself day in and day out. Thats why I am exhausted. Not exhausted at my H right now. My advice would be don't give up on your wife. Only time will tell. I have ask a few times as to what happened in your situation to give you some advice maybe. You still have not said anything. If you don't want to talk about it thats fine just thought I might help from my point of view.<P>Thank you Jacky,<P><P>------------------<BR>*THE ONE*