I went over to the Pregnancy board because I now believe OW is pregnant. I saw an interesting post by Neverforget that I wanted to post here and see what you all thought.<P>Here is what neverforget wrote:<P>Would you marry your spouse if you knew then what you know now? Would you stay with your spouse if it happened a second time? I think of that song "The Dance" by Garth Brooks "Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss the dance,<BR>Sometimes I wonder if the dance is worth it, what about you all?<BR><P>------------------<BR>Kathy

Well Kathy, <P>You know my story. I was saying to myself all day, if I had known, there is no chance in hell I would have married that guy. NONE. And then I thought of my beautiful children, who would have never seen this earth. So for them I would, for me, no way!!!<P>Jacky

Hi again,<P>I finally have a chance to post to my own thread. That's what I feel exactly. Only for my children would I suffer it all over again. For other people I know from him like his mom and dad, ya, I'd suffer it again too.<P>For me, 20 years ago when I walked into that college classroom (for the second chance), I'd have sat on the other side of the room now. Maybe I would have actually been loved and cherished by someone else had they had the chance. I'd probably have my health back. It comes down to I never "danced". He never treated me well and I'm sickened by his open-zipper way of life. I don't know why I put up with it except for my rose colored glasses were really powerful.<P>On the other hand, God put me with him and probably to have my kids for whatever their purposes will be. I can't argue with God.<P>------------------<BR>Kathy<p>[This message has been edited by weirded out (edited September 22, 2001).]

I'm with Nina on this one.<P>The selfish side of me at first says "hell no". About fifteen seconds later it dawns on me just how much richer my life is because of my children and grand children. Then I get even more selfish and realize that I never wanted to grow old alone. <P>When everyone else in this world has come and gone, the kids are still here, if for no other reason than to make periodic withdrawals from the First International Bank of Ye Olde Man.<P>My ex isn't a bad person, she just had ideas that were not compatable with mine.<P>But the kids are forever.<P>Prayers and stuff,<P>Bumper

If I knew then what I know now, would I still marry my wife? In a heartbeat. I love my wife more than she will ever know and I do not regret falling in love with her or marrying her for one second, even though she has filed for divorce. There are so many things I would do differently because I made a lot of small mistakes. I would have turned the computer off when she got home. I would NOT have looked at porn sites. I would have gone to bed at the same time as she did, even if I didn't fall asleep. I would have danced with her. I would have given her flowers. I would have started telling her how beautiful I thought she was...like I did in the beginning. If I could just turn the clock back one year, so many things would be different. My marriage would be the Rock of Gibraltar instead of the World Trade Center (sorry for that analogy, but it fits). But, I can't turn back time. As hurt and as lonely as I am, I must thank God that I had my wife for a little while because I know I'm a better person for having had her in my life. I agree with that line from The Dance. My feelings toward my wife are summed up by this line from Diamond Rio's song You're Gone. "And I bless the day I met you, and I thank God that he let you lay beside me for a moment that lives on. And the good news is I'm better for the time we spent together, and the bad news is you're gone." <P>------------------<BR>Don't look back. You never know what is gaining on you.

If I had to do it over again, even though I love my H and always will - absolutely not. <P>I love my children with all my heart, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. But if I had known that I was bringing them into the world only to suffer the pain of discovering that the father they loved and whom they thought loved them would not only leave them, but have little to do with them, to discover that they can not even trust their own parent after he seemed like a good and loving parent for as much as 18 years - I would never have done so. <p>[This message has been edited by Nellie1 (edited September 22, 2001).]