My H was supposed to collect his things today, but left a voice message on my work phone on Friday stating he was not going to. Yesterday he calls and asks what am I doing today. I asked why whats going on now. He tells me his father is not doing too well. I said that I am sorry to hear that. So he said he needs to come to this area (7 hour drive), can he collect things. So I said yes, he needs to collect them as they are his things. So he says he has already left Durban, but then says he must first go to work, and he will call me later with a time. So I said what do you mean you just said that you have left Durban and now you say work. You don't even talk straight anymore. So he says it is complicated. (Oh really, I must be too stupid.) And that he will call me sometime, so I said no, give a time when you will be calling. Down goes phone and I haven't heard from him since. Uuugggghh.<P>What do I do? I want him to get his things. <P>I am so low... I really am feeling lonely. I miss having someone in my life. I liked being a relationship. I miss that...

Pantha,<P>Sorry you are so down. Things will get better over time.<P>About his stuff, my husband moved out in May, and he filed for divorce in July. Anyway, He still has a garage full of stuff to pick up. I have heard that since he won't pick them up, I could send him a letter telling him to come get the items and if he doesn't I'll be putting them in storage. I have heard if I put them in storage he would owe me for the rent on the storage. I haven't asked my attorney about this though. My neighbor also has told me if he doesn't pick his stuff up, on the day the divorce is final, whatever is left is my property to do with what I see fit. STBX says, and I do understand this, that he has no place to put these items because he's in an apartment now. So what I plan to do is tell him next week, I will pay for two months of storage, October and November, if he will haul his stuff off. I won't expect reimbursement for the two months but it'll be his bill after that.<P>I think you should be patient. It sounds like you don't want this divorce or him to leave. Give him time and just keep his stuff for him until he's ready to pick them up. Maybe he's not picking the things up because he doesn't know what he wants yet. <P>I think also, hoping I'm not wrong or you don't take this the wrong way, but you really miss and want to see him and that's why you want him to pick up his stuff. You would like to talk to him when he comes. There's nothing wrong with this, but just remember once he picks them up, you won't have any other excuses afterwards to ask him to come over.<P>Anyway, goodluck with everything and try to be patient. Things will get better.<P>Tare care,<P>ANNA<BR>

Anna I have thought about storage, but I think I owe him until the divorce is final to keep his things. But this on/off getting his things is driving me nuts.<P>No I don't want him back in my life, I want someone new. Things between him and I can never be repaired now. He has not made the effort, so there is absolutely no hope there. I told him if he wants me he has to fight for me and he has not done that. <P>In a way I would like to see him, but I don't knw what we'd say. I don't even have his new cell number so I don't phone him. We have seen each other about 2minutes in the last 2 months. My divorce will be through in about a week or two.<P>Anna thank you for your reply. I appreciate it.<P>Pantha