Well, today has been...well...hectic. I just went for a two-mile walk and feel fantastic. I feel that perhaps I have been asking a bit more than I have been giving lately on this board, and I thank each of you for your time, energy, and support. It has helped immensely. Nina/Anna, you are always there for us on the board - thanks from my heart. PT, Jilly, JJ, and last but but not least Pantha and all the others I failed to mention - thanks so very much! My faith has been strenghtened. I mean, I suppose the fact that my wife has kept our joint checking and credit card accounts, plans on using them (both of us; dont worry, my money is safe). I mean, could it be that she is just as reluctant to let go as well? Could she still be deciding what to do? That coupled with the fact that she agreed to meet with me. I didnt tell you, but last night she brought the kids by for me to watch them and take them to church the next day. It was supposed to be at 9:00pm. She called at 7:30pm and I was working on a computer system and was frustrated. I guess she sensed it and I told her to bring them over but she waited until 9:00. I waited outside for 30 minutes then realized she wasnt coming. I called she said "You sounded ticked". I explained it wasnt her, it was this system I was having problems with. She brought them over and I talked with her. She said she was frustrated and that her friend was being a pill. We talked and I told her, dont worry about them. Enjoy yourself (she is doing pottery). I said, I will keep them when you want to do your painting and pottery. I said I want you to enjoy yourself. I will take care of the kids (of course, Im thinking, yeah and maybe you will truck over to the OM hotel room). I dont know if he was in town, but I dont care. I think she is concerned that I might have a PI. Maybe I do. That is neither here nor there. I love her and will keep with the PLan A (uggggggggggh, I feel like a doormat)but then again, she was there for me many years while I was in a huge FOG. I will grin and bear it. I love her too much to give up now.<P>Anna, I think the flowers would be great. I wont send it to work. That may cause problems. Perhaps to her house.<BR>Would that be overboard?<P>Thanks guys

Rob,<P>I think to her house would be great, but i am confused "Why not the office?"<P>ANNA<BR>

Anna,<BR>I did that the last time we separated and she ripped me a new one. Said it wasnt appropriate considering we were separated. I dont want to chance that. I suppose she wouldnt want her co-workers to know that I sent something.<P>Its weird.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Anna2000:<BR><B>Rob,<P>I think to her house would be great, but i am confused "Why not the office?"<P>ANNA</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I'm revising this to add. On second thought, it doesn't matter why you worry about sending to the office. If there is even a little worry of sending to her office, then the best place to send would be to her house.<BR>

Rob,<P>Lol, well I revised it too late.<P>ANNA<P>P.S.<P>Oh hey if the flowers do make a big hit. Then in a couple of weeks send her a CD of a song that reminds you of her. I suggested this one to goodguy too. This is just something I think is very romantic.<P>ANNA<BR>

RobC,<P>I've been looking at this thread, which may give you some insight as to what is going through your wife's mind right now.<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/012676.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/012676.html</A> <P>VERY interesting to see how the WS thinks about D-day. He hasn't confessed yet, but it looks like he will tonight.<P>Love and light,<P>Jacky

Anna,<BR>Another great idea. I have already sent a compilation of some of our favorites. My personal favorite is Roberta Flack "The First Time if Ever I Saw Your Face" and Jefferson Starship "If only you Believe". Man, that brought back memories to our dating and the good times in our marriage. I cry everytime I hear them. When we had time together, we really had a blast. I miss that the most. We danced together almost everyday together to oldies and our favorites - right up to the day she left. It makes me so sad. Maybe I need to remind her occasionally of those wonderful times. Sometimes the dark days and nights really push out all of the fun times. You have sparked my romantic side now - I am going to go for BROKE over the next few months....I will give it my all. I miss her. I really do. Life just isnt the same without her. Our times out on dates (in between my problems) were out of this world. Maybe she worked so hard getting me to do those things prior to her leaving to perhaps have them as her last memories of us. Perhaps she just wanted to end on a good note. I have not yet begun to fight!<P>Thanks Anna, how are you doing? I read the "stuff" and storage thread. I too, have a pile of my wifes stuff. I will keep it for a while.<P>

Thanks Nina, that thread really helped. Perhaps I have taken a bit of the burden off of her. She has divulged any info. Maybe it is just like she said, but I doubt it. You NEVER know who is watching.

Rob,<P>I think that is wonderful that you are doing all this. Don't be discouraged if you don't get instant love right away. Just keep doing something special for her about once every week during the next few months...<P>I'm doing ok. It's been stressful the last few weeks but I think things are starting to slow down a little. Thanks for asking.<P>Take care.<BR>ANNA<P>

Glad I could help...that thread really gave me such a lot of insight as to WHY it was so HARD for my H. <P>What do you mean, you NEVER know who's watching??? Got my curiosity going, there!!!<P>Jacky

WELL, since you asked, I consider myself a pretty intelligent individual. I have known SOMETHING was amiss since my wife came back from Charlotte earlier this year. Lets just say that I ABHOR lying! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I comes straight from Hell. You see at one point in my life I became GREAT at it. My drinking for instance! However, the guilt and pain it causes not just for others, but for ones self. It is in a nutshell DEVASTATING to anything and EVERYTHING it touches. I will not tolerate it. I UNDERSTAND it - it is pure un-adulterated selfishness! PURE SELFISHNESS! My wife has been lying and I will nail her [censored] if she doesnt come clean. It is truly time to Piss or get off the pot. I will give her time but its time to get some guts. I have a life to live and I want to get on with it. My patience is only lengthened by the fact that she helped me by leaving me in June. But I thought it was strictly BECAUSE of me. Again, dishonesty.<P>Thanks Nina, you seem to be doing pretty good. I believe that helping others really helps us in these difficult times. If that is true, you, my dear, should be in another galaxy.<P>

Well, Rob, I am doing okay...having a hard time NOT emailing my H and calling all the names under the sun since my wake up the other day, and his new OW as well, boy I'd like to punch her one. Oh well, like attracts like, they say. It Does help me when I help others; it gives me a sense of peace. There is much satisfaction in giving.<P>My girls have been having a bad day, really, really missing their dad. And they want me to call him...but it's a money thing, I just can't spend the money. So later, I might email him and tell him the kids need him to call more often.<P>You would have seen what I said about lying on BadHubby's thread...yes it STINKS...I have never been in the position to tell whoppers, and I don't think I could anyway. I agree that lying is totally selfish. It is self centred and self-protection at the expense of everyone else.<P>The fact that people say they lie because they didn't want to hurt you is just so ridiculous. And when they think you don't know, well that just is treating you like you're stupid. I hate that, too, it is so disrespectful.<P>Ahem....better get off the soap box. <P>