Frist I would like to say "Hi" to everyone out there! I just happened to come upon this site and thought maybe you guys could offer me some advice on my problem. I have been divorced for 4 months now but have been seperated for 10 months and I have been trying to move on with my life for me and my kids. I have meet this very nice guy and have been seeing alot of him. My kids, I have 2, like him alot. But this is my problem I still care for my ex and he calls me everyday and still tells me he loves me and wants to work things out. He says he has changed but I do not know if he really has or if he is just saying that because he thinks I have found someone else. I know that some things has not changed..he does not take the kids like he should, but he says he will do better and I have heard all this before and he did for about 2 months then it was back the same old way. This is one of the many reasons we divorced. I have asked my oldest what he thought about me and his dad "dating" and he said he was happier the way it is now. I have just told my-ex that I need time to think and that I would really have to be sure this time. May I just can't let go. Now here is the kicker the other guy I have been dating is great with the kids and includes them in everything we do. He says he cares a great deal about me and I do beleive him. He is also recently divorced. But for some reason or other he thinks that I am going back to my ex. I have told him over and over That I do not think that will happen. Then the other day he called and said that someone had told him that my ex was at my house all the time now.. I told him that was not true and it is not. He does come and see the kids but he knows all this. I thought he belived me and everything was alright with us. Then he called Saturday and said he had to work late and would call later. I have not heard from him intil this morning when I called his work. He told me that he had spoken with my ex and my ex had informed him that we WERE getting back together. So he decided to not call because he wanted me and my kids to be happy. I told him this was not true but I do not think he belives me. I told him that it was not right for him to do me this way that he should have called and at least asked me. Instead he let me think that he was hurt, or found someone else (maybe he has has not been home at all ..He says no)and all the other things that goes through your mind. He said he would try to come and see me when he gets off work and we would talk.. Who knows? I do care a great deal about him too... So does anyone have any advice for this messed up life of mine?? Maybe I should just give up on all men for a while...

It sounds like you are stuck in the middle, I hope you are able to take some time and think this out for yourself, have you and ex talked about any counseling or any of the things on this site, read all the stuff here and let it sink in, then see if ex agrees to any of it. Or just apply it to new relationship either way it won't hurt you<P>