I recently found out that my wife had a little more history than I knew about. Before we was married she told me that she could count on one hand the number of people she had been with sexually. Turns out my wife has been with about thirty guys. Even though this was before we even met, It still feels like she's cheated on me with all of those guys, some of the guys I knew. I feel like I had to pay for what others got for free. I'm wrestling with this everyday. Does anybody feel me?

My concern would be whether there is an appropriate amount of honesty in your relationship. How many men (or women) someone has been with probably isn't an issue worth worrying over: it's just part of her past. I would be more concerned over how it came to be that you understood a lower number. On the other hand, you need to make sure you are accepting when she is being honest.

I am not sure why it is that your wife felt the need to tell you the exact number of men she had been with. Was she trying to get a reaction out of you with the number.....to finally come "clean" with her little white lie or to totally ruin your relationship. I think that she should have let the number remain in her past. You already knew that she wasn't the snow white virgin when you married her, yet you loved her and married her anyways. We, humans, make mistakes and use sex to try and find fulfillment within ourselves....it took me many partners and extremely fulfilling sex to realize that I couldn't be happy in a relationship, if I wasn't happy with me. Thank God that the numbers have never been an issue.<P>I hope that you and your wife can resolve this situation and put it behind you.

be real, your w didn't tell you the true number because she must have been concerned you would react as you now have. you can't blame her though because 30 different men can come across as a lot. look at it this way. the lie was a white lie meant, i think, to get past something that wasn't really important. does it really matter if it were 10-20, or 30? some things can't be worn out, thank goodness. i know because i've tried. and too think of this, out of 30 men, she picked you and i would think, she should be qualified to do so and too, she probably knows what she wants. see this, her experience, as a positive. my 1st w had sex with several men before me, i don't recall the number but i suspect it was more than she told me and i didn't care anyway. my 2nd w had been married to another man and had sex withas i recall, 11 men before we married. personally, i wouldn't care if it had been 100 men. check out some of these topics in which people complain about discovering they and their spouse have grossly differing sexual appetiates. good luck and may you learn lots about sex from you expert wife.

You two should be working on YOU as a couple and your future together. So what, past sex life - Water under the bridge, yesterdays news, heck, you must be doing something right if you two are still together. You need to get past your (insecure?) feelings of her past before she is a past to you! I'd think things would be going well in that catagory between the sheets make the rest of the relationship just as good!<P>chance