Just thought I post this question...<P>Would you date or see someone while you're in the divorce process why or why not? <P>

I never even considered dating while my divorce was pending. I guess that my feeling was that I was still MARRIED and felt that it would be disrespectful to do so. I also prided myself in taking the high road through the divorce and that seemed like something the X would do.<P>Now looking back, post divorce 3 months, I'm glad that I choose not to date. Compare it to a book, you always finish one chapter before moving on to the other. I've found that that chapter didn't close with the legal finality of the divorce, there were still issues with myself that needed to be dealt with before I turned the last page. I'm young and I have plenty of time so I'm in no hurry to rush into something that will get in the way of me finishing this chapter of my life.<P>Add my thoughts, to many others here who HAVE dated pre-divorce and really regretted it. So there my .02 cents worth.<P>Good luck with whatever you choose to do.<P>------------------<BR>Love, Bill<P>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-

Hey kas-<BR>The short answer-NO, because I'd still be married.<P>Ask yourself it this way- if you had been divorced for a couple of years and were fully recovered, healed, content with yourself, emotionally healthy- would you date someone who was “almost” divorced? Probably not. <BR>Time heals. Take care of yourself.<BR>

My H and I are going thru the divorce process right now...not sure when it's finalize yet. He moved out over a year ago and we've lived separated since then... He is dating and seeing someone right now. I'm not sure if he's serious about her or he's just using her for his companion or to get even with me. <P>But as for me, I would agree with everyone. I wouldn't even consider it. Why bother if you're not even happy with yourself as of yet? Why create more problems, IMHO?!<P>~Daphie

No, I don't and will not date until the divorce is final. To put is plainly, until you're divorced, you're still married. <P>You're either married or single....and even tho it FEELS like there is an inbetween or your IN the inbetween, you are either one or the other, no matter how you feel. <P>Just my opinion....<P>Aloha,<BR>Mrs.O<BR>

Because a divorce, especially with kids, is the living death of your dreams.<P>And until you are healed from that, and have new dreams, and new security, you are an accident waiting to happen, meaning, you won't be able to tell the difference between a good woman and some novacaine to the bruised ego and heart.<P>forgetaboutit

I am still married. Do I hope to save my marriage? Yes, because I still love my wife and believe that this never should have happened. Do I believe that my wife and I will ever get back together? No, I can't say I do. I know it will be difficult for me to see her with someone else. It will probably tear me up inside. But...if she made a decision to leave me, to not wear her rings because of the "commitment"...LMAO...that they signify, then why should I? She considers us to be divorced and in some ways is acting like we are. What is to be gained from taking the high road...which I did the first time I got divorced? I see nothing wrong with asking a pretty girl out to a movie or dinner. Am I looking for a replacement wife? Hell no I'm not. Cheap sex? I never consider it cheap, but if it happens, it happens. I want the companionship that I can no longer receive from my wife. I will be a man, or a fool, and admit that I do not like to be alone. I was alone for so long, even in a crowd, that I grew tired of it. So to answer the question briefly and succinctly, yes I would date...but not commit...while the divorce process is going on.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Don't look back. You never know what is gaining on you.

In the catagory of "Do as I say, not as I do" I admit to having met my current H after the divorce was filed, but before it became final. <P>And if I had to do it again, no, I wouldn't have done it. <P>I had been alone for many months prior (we'd separated 3 times in a years time) and the final separation was for 9 months. In my head, I told myself that my marriage was over, would never be repaired, and that I was "emotionally" divorced, though not legally. I know, the lies we tell ourselves, eh?<P>However, I am now remarried (oh yes, too soon) and mean to make this marriage last for the rest of my life. I was married 20 years before, so I don't take this (marriage) lightly. My story is all over the boards for anyone to see, by the way.<P>Anyway, I don't recommend it, mostly because I had to go through a grieving process, and my H was by my side as I went through it. You can imagine how awkward and painful that was for him. My only saving grace was that he was doing the same. Yeah, we moved quickly, and it was completely the wrong way to do things.<P><p>[This message has been edited by Nyneve (edited September 27, 2001).]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by kas:<BR><B>Just thought I post this question...<P>Would you date or see someone while you're in the divorce process why or why not? <P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>kas,<P>I havent and I have been seperated for a year now. And though my divorce is in the works it could take another year to become final. Add to that that my wife lives about two miles from me with her new man and I should probably have enough reason to date...but I wont.<P>Not for any other reason except that I dont think it would be fair to the person Id be seeing. I agree with the chapters of a book analogy stated above. When there is finality to this one, then I will be ready to start a new one.<P>I can sit here right now and look forward to the next relationship and smile. Because I am an MB'er now and I have the knowledge and tools from this site to make my next relationship not just good, but great! <P>Im only gonna date someone who is willing to make the effort to learn about the principles here on this site. And I will only marry a die hard MB'er. <P>Yes it takes alot of hard work to make a good marriage....but in comparison to this pain of divorce that will be a breeze and I cant wait!!!!! But I will.<P><BR>You take care now.<P>Randy <P>