W brought up Christmas other day. I have not really thought about it at all yet. She offered for me to take kids and have Christmas w/ my mom (she does holidays BIG), she thinks kids will have more fun. i asked her what SHE would do, she replied she did not mind being alone.<P>It is her choice, but i don't think she should be alone for Christmas for lots of reasons. Kids will want to see her too. i would like to offer for us to have the day together as just our family, no other strings or conditions, no hidden motives. i juts hate thought of her being alone for Christmas day (her family does not do it big, doubt she will ebven see them then.)<P>Should i offer this, or just go along with her idea. not that it needs to be decided any time soon, but it will set precedent for the future. I want to do what's best for all, including her.<P>What have others done? For background, have been separated for about 3 months, live in same city, she has kids.

Take things one day at a time. I wouldn't bring it up at all until the day before. Its hard, I know, but life is too crazy right now.

I agree with notheard- this is not a decision you have to make now. Perhaps you don't want to leave it until the day before, but somewhere in between now and then!<P>She has made a generous offer- you should answer it gracefully. Maybe you should just tell her thank you for the offer, it's very thoughtful, etc, and that her you'd like to think about it, and she should too.

My H will be in SA over Christmas, but I seriously doubt that he will be all alone...OW will make sure of that.<P>I actually don't care if he IS alone...he made these dumb old choices, so he has to live with the consequences. And even if he aHAS made plans for that day, she will not make him as happy as seeing his kids with their presents and the family would have. So it's not really a problem for me.<P>ANB3, she made the choice, not you. Don't feel bad for her...if she is offering the kids to you, I wouldn't be surprised if she has made plans already.<P>Take care.<P>Love and light, Jacky

Thanks to all 3 of you. I think you are all right in different ways. I agree she has made the choice to be where she is, so she should live with it (and many, many more significant consequences). Yes, she also made a gracious offer and I accepted it as such. And yes, it is early, and nothing needs to be decided now.<P>My guess is that the world will look very different to both me and W in December-don't know how, but I am certain about the different part.<P>I also think she may have been reaching out in some way-it was so out of the blue. But to follow Train's good advice, I won't try to analyze. I'm just going to let this lay on the table for awhile and see what happens.<P>Going out of town for a few days (flying to Boston-yikes!), so will catch up with all next week.<P>Peace to all here, and thanks for the input.

Holidays are going to be tough. I am not yet divorced but I understand the worrying about a holiday thats still 3 months away. I'm doing it too!!! I do plan to ask my stbx to spend atleast a small part of Christmas with me and our daughter. But like the others are advising I am going to wait until a few days before Christmas. I'd like to see what plans are already made first. I wish you the best during this tough time.