Thought I would be nice and get the wife and kids a gift. I did. Nothing spectacular, a purple stuffed frog for the wife, a stuffed teddybear for my daughter and some Pokemon cards for the boys. They all loved them....wife said nothing. I helped her extra over the last few weeks money wise. I really dont expect anything in return, but you know sometimes a thank you is appreciated. For once I a long while I really feel great about myself, the drinking is non-existent and the counseling is really helping. Learned from the counselor that my personality is "complicated". He said that was the best and only way to describe it. He and I went through most of it last session and will finish next. The questions were stupid, but man did it nail me to a T! I think I may be a freak! Just kidding. I was waiting for two guys in white suits and a straight jack to rush in. Anyway, I am doing well and learned that I have a need to get thank yous, etc. I have a need for much affection (could I be a woman in a mans body, HEHEHE), and I am very independent. I tend to be covertly controlling of others, but dont like controls or responsibilities on myself. I tend to be an escapist and dont get close often. Lasty, and most peculiar is the fact that I tend to adapt my personality and actions based on the situation I am in. Anyway, I thought it was interesting and I am with a fantastic therapist. The Bible meets psychology. It is very unique approach and I am gain great insight into myself and my marriage and my impact on it. I really wished my wife would see this guy individually, but that is another issue. Just letting you guys know it was a bit of a downer on the gift thing. She had hardly two words to say to me at the soccer game. She just blew me off, didnt even say thanks for the extra money help for her bills (np, I felt good doing the RIGHT thing). <P>How is everyone else doing? These 65hr weeks are killing me.

Rob, <P>Sorry the gift giving didn't go down well. Maybe next time it could be something they can all share, like a game, or a video, a big box of chocolates, etc. <P>Yes, thank you's would be appreciated once in a while...but sometimes they throw you and thank you for stupid things...my H did that last week "Thanks for organising the kids to talk to me on the phone." What on earth did he expect me to do? Hide them?<P>And yet, I sent him the kids new email addy, thinking he would like that idea, since his letters to them need not even talk to me at all...no word from him to me. Go figure.<P>UGH! Someone hit all these WS's over the head with a cricket bat!!!

Thanks Nina, again! Use a good lick with a bat would be pleasurable. I wont stop trying to be the best dad and husband in the world. Someone on the site had a quote went like this "Stand up and do what is right, even if you are standing alone". You know, one of the last things my wife said to me was "Nothing I do has been able to change you". I told her after she left that the love and space she gave me did. I confessed to my problems 3 days before she left. She had shown me, what I thought, was unconditional love for 4 months. She let me deal with it and I failed mostly, but finally I came to her, confessed my financial blunders and ultimately about my childhood. She left anyway. But I dont think she realized how I got to that point. It was her! She DID help change me. But now the fog is there and I am damned if I do change (because she wont believe it) and damned if I dont change(she said she would never come back to the way I was). With evidence OM, I now see that she is justifying what she is doing. Its a catch-22 for me. All of the justification I gave for my mistakes were never good. I suppose I will see right through hers. Kind of ironic, that WS tell you it was your faults, etc that caused the affair/leaving, but turn around and lie, cheat, steal and do downright terrible things. But I understand, you see, I did them as well. Just makes me look down and shake my head. We humans can rationalize and justify stealing from a blind man! Thanks again Nina. I just enjoy trying to make one person smile each day. If I can do just that and stay sober, it has been one helluva day for me and I sleep well.<P>You seem to be adjusting as well as can be expected. Keep up the GOOD work you are doing.

Rob,<P>SO COOL!!!! Well, she could be testing you to make sure you really don't want anything in return. She may be leary because this week you have given her money and a gift. Once she figures out that you didn't expect anything in return, she may lighten up. I think it's really going to help when she sees you are not contacting her as much.<P>Well take care. Oh BTW, your personality analysis was interesting.<P>Take care.<P>ANNA<P>