Guys,<BR>In my previous post, I spoke to giving everyone, including my wife a gift. Nothing big. Anyway, her parents found out she got one and went ballistic. I asked her and she said, I probably shouldnt do it, but she didnt mind. What a bunch of [censored]. They have been driving this from day one and her father has the never to keep asking me to get him a satellite card that is programmed to get all the channels. Can you believe this?! I am so pissed right now. But I will do whatever she asks. If it is a problem then I will stop. I told her that maybe I could give some extra money to help her get something for herself or put towards her bills. She said that would be okay. What is up with them. I even offered to help her rent a house. Do you think I should have done that. My folks are cheering for us and want US to choose what to do. Her folks said if she even considered working on our marriage, she needs to move out ASAP. both parents know everything.<BR>How should I handle this?

Well, sweetie, I think you should not give gifts to her but rather to the family, as I said on the previous post.<P>But that doesn't mean I am condoning the actions of your inlaws. How dare they, especially her father...it makes me sick to think they influence her so much. She is a grown woman and a mother.<P>Who told you the parents in law were upset, BTW?

She did Nina, and I probably shouldnt have given it to her.<BR>At least I have a better picture of the situation.

Well, I was betting she told you... so it may not be true.<P>She may have told you that because she knows in some way that her father's wrath influences you, and rather than say, "Hey, Rob, please don't give me gifts." she used that as her out. You know, the fog...can't ever say what they mean.<P>So now, don't do it again, and I would hold off on the money too. You are making it too easy for her. Only give her what she has to have for the children involved...<P>The idea is to show her a wonderful you while she is finding it hard without you. If she needs money and you just offer it without being asked, she may grow to think you're a sap. Do you want that? No. So wait until she asks, if she does. THEN give it, freely and happy to be of service. See the difference? It creates a totally different impression.<P>Love and light,<P>Jacky

Nina,<BR>You are 100% correct. I will stop with the money. I wont offer anymore, no gifts, etc. WoW. I missed that. Once again, I owe you!

Well, don't feel too bad, that's why we come here...we know something ain't right, we just need someonme else to tell us what it is! <P>Glad I could help.<P>Goodnight, I have to go to bed now! If you like, keep posting and I'll answer in my morning.<P>Love and light,<P>Jacky

Rob,<P>Although I agree on some of the things Nina said, I disagree on some too. I feel it is her parents and not her. I feel you made good progress by her saying she really didn't mind.<P>I also think it will help not hurt to give her extra money for herself. I think this was progress and if you want her back then you need to continue in some way to do what you are doing. Also, like Nina said give gifts they can all enjoy, such as games and candy and put her name on it too. <P>Take care,<P>ANNA<P>To Nina,<P>Well, Nina, I almost always agree with you on and on this one I halfway agreed with you so that's not so bad. <P>Take care girl,<BR>ANNA<BR>

Revising my last post.<P>Nina's totally right and I'm totally wrong. Not enough sleep last night... <P>What was i thinking? As long as wife is unable to defend your gifts and stand up to her parents, you shouldn't have to replace that with money.<P>ANNA<BR>

Thanks for retracting Anna, though we are all entitled to our opinions...I was getting ready to argue the point when I saw your second post...sometimes I think the BS can do too much, you know?<P>Love and light,<P>Jacky