Hey there,<P>Does anyone know of some good posts that talk about how to handle Plan A after you are seperated?

NO, but I did it for 4 months after separatin and 2 months after divorce.<P>If nothing else it helped me. My X was being a total B throughout this time and I really took comfort in my control and always being the "good" guy. So anyhow, earlier this month I decided it was time to move on into a different level of communication with the X and basically limited contact to kids and business. I think it really gave her a wake up call knowing that I'm not hanging on a string for her. Plus I think the fog is finally lifting from her eyes. Now she's the one trying to be nice and do little things for me. <P>I'd be glad to talk more if you'd like.<P>Bill

Wow, Bill, that's GOOD news!!!<P>Brandon, I was in Plan A for two and a half months whole separated. You can call on me anytime. Have any specific questions for us?<P>Love and light, Jacky<P>PS How did you sleep last night?

Jacky, no specific questions. Well okay now that I think of it. So when she calls/emails what ever. She already did once this morning but hung up when I answered. Does she not know about *69. Anyways, so I'm supposed to be upbeat, chipper, all that. I know I shouldn't bring up relationship things but do you think its okay to say I miss you, things aren't the same without you here if its said kind of matter of factly. What pressure. <P>To be honest I"m doing really good today. Why? Who knows. But this sense of relief is getting stronger. At first when I felt it I felt guilty. There's sadness and relief fighting each other inside of me and relief is kicking sadness's butt.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Goodguy:<BR><B>I know I shouldn't bring up relationship things but do you think its okay to say I miss you, things aren't the same without you here if its said kind of matter of factly. What pressure</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>From my experience, I was always just up beat and chipper like you said and I ended all conversations with I love you. But like you said, no relationship issues and I think the I miss you may be to much.<P>So anyway, when I stopped the chipperness and just talked business I noticed that she wouldn't let me get off the phone. She was wanting to here those words again. Heck last week she wouldn't let me off the phone a couple times and then I went to her house for our daughters birthday and she met me at the door with a great big hug. Then when I went to leave she wanted another hug and tried to kiss me. Now my situation may be a lot different than yours but I think it would take a act of God for me to allow myself to ever even consider taking my x back.<P>The ironic thing is now she's the one who won't let go.<P>

Goodguy,<P>The sense of relief, is probably so much kaos has ended for now. Now there's a calm.<P>Don't be surprised if in a couple of days it hits you again and you get that awful feeling in your stomach and totally lose control of emotion. Remember this is like being in mourning.<P>Btw, I posted on your other thread "she's gone" last night after you went clicked off. In case you missed it, I suggested you go ahead and change the locks and take her name off the lease. Perhaps go on that trip this weekend.<P>Also, that's strange that she called and hung up. Was she just seeing if you were there today? Do you think she was going to back for more things today? <P>Take care guy.<P>ANNA<BR>

Yeah, buddy, now the real work starts!!! Sorry, but true.<P>You are feeling relief cos you have had the leaving date over your head for three weeks now, and it is gone. You don't have that burden on your shoulders anymore.<P>As to how you approach her if you have contact...this is so hard to do.<P>You must never, ever seem needy.<P>You should always try to display an air of confidence with your life without her.<P>You should never talk about the relationship unless she brings it up, cos it's a LB.<P>You should not phone her or email or contact IF she has said not to, or she obviously doesn't like it, tone of voice, or no replies to letters.<P>You should not do anything you know makes her feel uncomfortable.<P>You should look after yourself the best you can.<P>You should present the best you there is whenever you see her...good grooming as well as personality things.<P>If she comes home to visit, the house should be as she likes it, although if you have photos around that bother you, I would remove them for your own sanity, and also move things around to fill the gaps if she took furniture, as this gives her subtle messages.<P>I hope this helps!<P>love and light,<P>Jacky