Hello everyone -<P>Well the weekend I have been dreading/wanting is here. My WH picked the three oldest kids this afternoon to go hook up with the OW or OG(girl) as many of you have come to know her. Now I get to wonder how it is going. For those of yo who don't know the OW is 21. Up until now the relationship has been strictly them, boy is she in for a surprise. I mean you can be in love with someone and at 21 tell yourself of course you'll love the kids too, but let's face it, kids are kids. It could be interesting.<P>I guess the real reason I'm writing is to thank you for some valuable things you've taught me. Nina, GotTruth, BrambleRose, and Thorned Rose especially have given me new insight on what Plan A really means. Up until the last couple of weeks I really thought I was Plan A'ing it well. What I learned from you is to detach myself and work on me. The result? I feel great and am handling things so much better. How is it effecting him? I can't really say yet. I mean he is taking our children to the OG this weekend, but he is acting differently around me. You can look at earlier posts for more info. if you'd like.<P>I was actually able to not mention her, help him pack up some toys (in case the kids get bored), and wish them well and to have fun. He on the other hand who would've only a couple of weeks ago rubbed it in my face was really quiet. He's also hanging out around the house a bit more. Who knows, it may mean nothing, but I'm going to stay positive. <P>Tonight my mother in law (who by the way is firmly on my side) is taking the baby and I'm going out with friends for dinner and whatever. It should be a lot of fun. My kids were sure to let their Dad know it and he seemed uneasy. My nine year old even hinted that I had a date although she knew I didn't. It was kind of funny. If nothing else it gives him something to think about. Life is looking up.<P>Thanks to everyone for your support.<P>K

I would like to be a fly on the wall there, to see her reactions with kids especially a nine year old, gssssh she is a kid herself. I don't know what will happen to the two of you, but I would venture to say when the excitment of being with a 21yr old wears off it will end quickly, trust me, I dated a lady 13yrs younger her 35 me 48 and there was a big difference in age and veiws, I couldn't take it LOL. I was flattered that she was interested in me. I think the same will happen for him, even more so when she is with him and kids she will start to wonder what her friends are doing she will miss the things 20yrs do. This all seems to be a novelty to me. You go out and enjoy yourself and make sure he knows you had fun fun fun.<P>

Dear Still,<BR>I am so glad you posted! I have been wondering about whether he actually took them or not and what they ended up doing since you said you thought camping was out. I agree, I would love to be a fly on the wall! This should be a hoot!<P>Please enjoy yourself this evening. Have a wonderful dinner with no responsibilities for a few hours. You have enough on you during every other 24 hour period with 4 young children - even if your H wasn't losing his mind!<P>Keep up the Plan A tomorrow when they get home. I am sure you already have this planned out, but here is what I would do:<BR>Get up and have the house spotless, cook something that simmers and smells homey (Like soup, stew, spaghetti sauce...), have some light jazz (or whatever you like) playing softly in the background, be freshly showered and dressed casually, but nicely (like you just threw something great on), be involved in something (not like you are just waiting for them to arrive) - maybe even be on the phone or computer and have to dash... anyway you get the picture. When they get there, run to give the children hugs with your biggest smile and laughter. "Hey, how are you?!! Did you have a great time? OH, I am so glad!!" You know all the requisite gushing and such. Then just turn to him and say, "thank you so much for taking them, I had such a nice weekend and the quiet was wonderful. Talk to you soon."<BR>He may want to linger and talk and even stay for dinner. Do whatever you want to do and whatever feels right. But keep it light and happy. <BR>This will be an awesome weekend.<BR>I'll be thinking of you and looking for an update.<BR>Again, have fun tonight - for YOU!!!!!<P>Mari<P>------------------<BR>Reality<BR>It's not what you think