TR,<P>I think this topic is very important. I was so careful with my kids, in some ways, and so reckless, in others. I've learned a lot. Luckily for me, my kids were older, and as I've said, they SAW a lot.<P>I took them to counseling (my son was already seeing the counselor, so it was an easy fit) and we talked all the time at home (David was, unfortunately, in lala land at the time, wouldn't talk to them about his obvious fling with the last OW, and did not believe in counseling - he has since changed his opinion a bit, which is nice).<P>And Nellie, I agree about the unconditional love -- even for their father. <P>Just this week I had to speak to two of my kids about their father, and in both cases, I said that I will NEVER regret marrying him, that I will always carry a love for him, and that he is a good man. <P>Now, in my heart, it is true I will never regret my marriage, although I will regret lots of things surrounding it... <P>...and I will always feel a kind of love for him, though I can't pinpoint it, except to say that I never want to think of him suffering or dead (however, the fact that he's suffering emotionally right now makes me sad, but not THAT sad, considering) <P>...and finally, I have determined that he really has a core of good, but didn't know how to show it at all during the final breaths of our marriage. <P>However, I am not about to talk down about their father, except in general agreeing ways -- like when my daughter says "Dad promised to get so-and-so and then said he was too busy working"... and I'll say, "Yes, he was always a poop that way"... but she's 20, and I think she can handle that.<P>I am not saying I am perfect, or even close to it, when it comes to my children. I think anyone who cares already knows my story, and the struggles I have had... not to mention the very real burden I placed on the relationship by MY choices...<P>However, I feel very strongly that the past marriage, no matter what the circumstances, be treated with respect, especially when there are children involved.