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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 123
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OP
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 123 |
Last night when my H got home from work he seemed really tired and cranky. I had car trouble and I told him about it and he told me I'd have to figure out how to deal with it. He wasnt actually mean but a very pissy attitude. He went on to bed earlier than I did and didnt say wake me up when you come or ask me to come to bed then or anything. So my little girl ask to sleep with me and I said ok. SO I get in bed and H is naked! He never goes to bed naked unless he wants some. When I got upset he thought it was because he wanted it so he said it was no big deal if we didnt. Men!!!! I wasnt upset cause he wanted it I was upset I got no warning and had told D she could sleep in our bed. He kept saying its ok. I couldnt make him understand having sex twice a week or less is NOT ok. So I took a shower and sat on the couch for awhile. He came in there and we talked, not argued. I thought we were making progress. I was telling him I am still very unhappy and I dont want to stay if things dont change back to the way they were or atleast get better than this. Then he said "Well I dont know you want me to do about it, I cant change you." I told him I am not the one that needs to change. Which isnt 100% true but he was acting like he is perfect and I am just upset for no reason! I tried to talk to him about going back to therapy or taking anger management or parenting classes. He said I am the one thats not happy maybe I should go to therapy. AAARRGG, I see my counselor once a week. I am unhappy cause he cusses, calls us names, get angry about the most minor incedents and doesnt want to have sex much anymore. I want the guy I was married to for the first 7 years. I said fine if you like the new you so much stay just like you are. He said "There is nothing wrong with the new me." Is that an admission that he realizes he has changed??? For months he kept saying he wasnt acting any different than he always has. <P>Sometimes I wonder if we dont have sex because we fight or if we fight because we dont have sex. Does that make any sense? <P>I ask him if he ever thought that if we split he might be alone forever and never find somebody else. He said he was sure of it. I wonder if I'd be better off all alone, than in a marriage like this. Maybe he wants to be alone cause he sure isnt making much effort to save our marriage. Maybe he was lying, for all I know he is seeing somebody else. I am beginning to understand why people become WS. An affair would solve my lack of sex problem, and prove I can find somebody else and wont be alone. But I'd rather leave my marriage knowing it wasnt my fault it failed than do that. Besides if I am alone I dont have to worry about being abused by somebody else.
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