Hello everyone!<P>I missed the forum terribly, you guys are really a big family to me! I have been thinking of everyone all week, knowing there would be some who needed lots of support. I am glad we are back!<P>I see that my posts have disappeared, regarding my problems with H, my mother and the need to know everything. <P>Last you heard, he had said he wanted to take my son OS with him to live...I hadn't replied. Well I still haven't and I'm not going to...instead I am getting my life together...I have an appointment with a lawyer next week and also I have been looking for houses...saw the first today UGH! It was a PIGSTY, holes in the wall etc, smelly...how could someone leave a house in that state? So I have others to see next week too. Hope they are better than that.<P>My kids are all at school or kindergarten, so that has reduced some of the tension with my mother, as they aren't here as much. the kids are settling in very well, and their new teachers are wonderful.<P>I am feeling pretty good about these baby steps I have made. I also feel good about no contact with H...he has not contacted me in two weeks now...uh oh I bet the EA just turned PA [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] but I just don't want to know anymore. Can't explain that...I just feel better away from him and his s#!t. However he also has not contacted the KIDS, which is NOT good for them.<P>Anyway, I am on the road to recovery of self...funny what can happen in a week! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]<P>Love and light!<P>Jacky

Jacky, I was soooo glad to see your post, today. In these types of circumstances, the best you can do is focus on the restoration of self, as you are doing. Baby steps are great - they move you off the dime! In time, as your life begins to come together again, your stride will lengthen into more normal steps!<P>You sound upbeat and hopeful this week. I am happy that you are feeling better!<P>Wishing you happiness, Desiree

Thanks Desiree!<P>I am more hopeful than I have been through this whole thing...about ME, not the relationship. That is gone, and may never be again, and that is sad. But I have to pick myself up for the kids...they are so important. Also, there is such POWER in making decisions all on your own after so many years of seeking approval.<P>Yes I am upbeat...and I hope I can keep feeling this way! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]<P>Love and light,<P>Jacky

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nina too:<BR><STRONG>Thanks Desiree!<P>Also, there is such POWER in making decisions all on your own after so many years of seeking approval.<P>Yes I am upbeat...and I hope I can keep feeling this way! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]<P></STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>know what you mean, it is a great feeling not to have that always hanging over your head. you are doing great. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Jacky,<P>I am so proud of you. You are a strong woman and you will show him that you can make it without him. He will always know that your desire was to be with him and that he could have been part of the new and exciting life you are building for yourself and your kids. You can accomplish anything you want that is obtainable. I finally had to realize that I should strive towards the things I could obtain. I had no control over the situation with my H so I could not reach the goal of repairing my marriage by myself. <P>It is so funny that when I first started posting in May, people kept telling me to take care of myself, to work on my needs and desires. At the time, I had no idea how or even why I would need to do that.<P>It is all so clear now. I'm glad you have reached this stage too. Again, I'm very proud of you. You are a good person, don't forget it.<P>Lynn

Hey Nina<P>I am glad that you are getting stronger with each and every day. I am truly proud of you.<P>Good luck with the house hunting!! Enjoy it. <P>Pantha

Lynn, sing and pantha,<P>three of the wonderful people who were there for me in the very early stages, how fitting that you should all post together today!<P>Thank you all. Yes Lynn, I know what you mean, I didn't get it either, i thought, hey I am just trying to LIVE here, get a life as well??? You must be joking!!!<P>Sing, it IS fun to do things for myself, spending money when I need to and not wondering what H will say at the size of the grocery bill...LOL!<P>Pantha, you are strong too...I just posted again on your thread, honey, really really try to talk to your H again, just once more, because you said some stuff over there that i think you need to say to him.<P>Well! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] I'm still aware that I have a LONG way to go, but right now I feel happy, and I want to just dance,<P>hang on<BR>lalalalalala lalallalalalala lalalalalala<P>Anyone want to come to my party? [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]<P>I am feeling up!<P>Love and light,<P>Jacky<P>PS I think I will save this thread for when I'm going down the rollercoaster again!!!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nina too:<BR><STRONG>Well! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] I'm still aware that I have a LONG way to go, but right now I feel happy, and I want to just dance,</STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hey Girl, I love the title of the thread and it is soooo true. You are doing wonderful!!!! And let me tell you, "You've come a long way baby". But as you acknowledged this road is long and when you get to one of those low places you know where to come for friendship and love....<P>Now you know I'm a country boy so if we're going to dance it's gotta be two-steppin to some Alan Jackson or George Straight.<P>BTW, I'm taking off til late tomorrow so I'll catch up with you then.... Take care and just so you know reading your post warmed my heart, I'm so glad you are at this point at this time at that place.<P>Hugs, Thoughts, & Prayers from my Oz to Yours

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nina too:<BR><STRONG>Also, there is such POWER in making decisions all on your own after so many years of seeking approval.<P>Yes I am upbeat...and I hope I can keep feeling this way! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]<BR></STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I am very glad to "hear" you "say" that (read you post that? Whatever). You sound like you're doing very well; keep those spirits up, and I'm sure you'll be fine.

So glad to hear from you, you have come along way jackie and I am proud of you. I know there is still pain for you as there is for many of us, the important thing is you are taking care of yourself and moving forward with those baby steps. somedays it seems we take two backwards and one forward but somehow we manage to keep moving.