ldlb,<BR>turst me I know what you are going through,I finely figured out to not try to figure him out. You know what I'm saying? mine did go see the chaplin, once, wow really wants it to work out huh? do you have kids? I do with mine and I think it will make it harder for me and it seems he is getting off scott free, I however have to get a place for me the kids a dog a bird and fish, not only that I am the one who will have to deal with our families who he will be 4000 miles away from. And yes I may sound like I am haveing me a pitty party and Yes I am but I dont deserve all of this and I was told I have no choice!!<BR>if you need an ear I'm here<BR>LMS<P>------------------<BR>maybe someday

LMS,<BR>Thanks so much for your replies. I have <BR>talked to SO MANY people since this all started<BR>and they all have good intentions, but still<BR>it's not the same as someone going through <BR>the same thing. To answer your question, no<BR>we don't have children. People keep telling<BR>me that it's a good thing we don't, but I <BR>almost wish we did.......that's the main thing<BR>I wanted out of marriage. Plus, that would<BR>give me the motivation I need in the morning to <BR>even get out of bed and keep my life going.<BR>But, then I think that if he can't be an <BR>attentive husband, he sure wouldn't be great<BR>father material, even part time. <BR>Anyway, it's been nearly two weeks now that we've<BR>been separated, I am still waking at 5:40 in the<BR>morning, expecting him to kiss me goodbye. I<BR>am wondering when I will be able to go even a minute<BR>without thinking about this. I hate being this<BR>consumed..especially when I know he IS NOT AND WILL<BR>NOT LET HIMSELF hurt over this. How can they<BR>go through this without any pain??? Guess maybe<BR>the same way they can successfully ignore the <BR>small disagreements.....take no responsibility<BR>and whatever you do, DON'T face it head-on!<BR>Thanks again, LMS.........keep me posted!<BR>Where's MOLLY??? I feel like I need a smile!<P><P>------------------<BR>

Molly.....where are you we need a smile in a bad way!!!!!!!!!!<BR>ldlb,<BR>no problum sweety,thats why I'm here. If it wasnt for this BB I would of lost it compleatly by now, see I was just told ten days ago and I do have kids and it might be easyer if I didnt but it would still hurt, ALOT!!! I love my H with all my heart thats why I stoped fighting it I saw it was pushing him away even more and he said to me today that we may be back togher someday but he dosnt know right now, I will give him what he wants if it is what will make him happy, and keep us good friends, friends is always a good place to start anything from maybe even rebuilding a marriage, who knows I may be fooling my self but at least I can say I love him enough to give him what he wants, even if it hurts like he*l. Maybe some time away is just what we need? and I know how you feel about not wanting to get out of bed (not like you were sleeping ) but it is safe and warm, I know trust me I know. just try to keep your chin up. Remember he did not marry a week crying woman don't let him think he has won, like someone on here told me "Happiness is the best revenge." And he may not know what a good thing he has untill it isnt easy for him to just pop by when he feels like it.<BR>molly will be here soon she gave me my first smile in a long time.<P>LMS<P>------------------<BR>maybe someday

molly,<BR>how do you make the smileys on here? its not like the other ones I do :-)<BR>LMS<P>------------------<BR>maybe someday

Hey Everyone,<BR>IT'S ME MOLLY! HERE'S A two cute little smiles Three cute little smiles <BR>Remember the Count from Sesame street? Now Ladies I feel really old! My girls are 24 & 21 and have not watched Sesame in quite a few years. My oh my how time flies when we're having such fun. I missed a couple nights on the computer. I really shouldn't do that. LMS, this computer is somewhat my revenge, the man hates electronics (all) he is clueless about any of it and was resentful when I would use mine. Some revenge is nice <BR>So how have you been? I haven't heard from Angela. I checked her post and she hasn't answered since her b-day, hope she's doing OK.<BR>I know what you mean about them (these guys!!) not seeming to hurt much at all. I too feel that way. I'm a basketcase most of the time and he just breezes along like this is fun. Go Figure. Well is it any wonder? Most often the boogy and leave us emotionally blown up and WE have to handle everything else along with it.<BR>Depressing here!!!<BR>Hey, I just thought of something. What if Angela took my advice and started skipping? AH, You have no idea what I'm talking about do you?<BR>Skipping-- It's good for the soul. Picture this, Dress up in you sunday go to meetin' clothes and skip. That's right skip! You know how, Don't be embarrassed now. It's easy, even uncoordinated people like me can do this. The best part is, there's no way you can skip and not smile. Don't beleive me do you? Try it, I'll bet you smile. You can't help it. You feel so goofy, you find a big sappy grin right there on your own face. I'm telling you I think Angela did it. She SKIPPED from desk or cubicle to cubicle or even (gasp) outside, and somebody in authority (the bad guys) saw her and she's in a padded cell somewhere crying for us to rescue her. Maybe she can blame it on me. Nah! I'll go back and erase the evidence. <BR>Thinking about you<BR>MOLLY<BR>lbld, Is that right?<BR>What's your story? Are you doing OK? It's been almost two months for me, it does get a little easier. Welcome to the board! You can post here if LMS doesn't mind, I check this post every day (Liar, Liar, pants on fire!) Well not every day but mostly.<BR>When this post gets too full, LMS, we'll start a new one. <BR>Angela, If your here, what do you think of that?<BR>Hugs {{{{{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}}}}}}}<BR> : + ) = smile<BR> ; + ) = wink<BR> : + ( = [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif[/img] Frown (pissed off too)<BR> : + D = [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] Big grin (use when skipping)<BR> : + o = [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/blush.gif[/img] embarrassed (when caught skipping)<BR>No spaces between. I couldn't show that because if I don't leave a space it makes a smile. Darn it [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]<BR>MOLLY<BR>

Hey, you know what, I just looked at the time you guys post here. Good grief, are you up all night or what? 3am? And I just posted the reply prior to this and it shows Central time. I am not in central time. I'm in Eastern Standard time. It's 5:30 here and my post says 4:22 CT. I never noticed before. Is it cause one of us (not me) is in Central time? Just curious (and a little bored) Idle minds you know!<BR>Write back guys, But, DO NOT EXPECT MOLLY TO BE UP AT 3AM EVEN IF IT'S CENTRAL TIME! Besides I would miss all my imfo-mercials if I was playing on the computer at that hour.<BR>You know they have invented (Hold your breath here) (this is important) Psst--- <BR>They found a way to put EXERCISE in a pill. <BR>No! Don't laugh, I saw this on TV, and YOU know they garantee this stuff!! There is REALLY Exercise in a little bitty bottle. I knew they'd find it sooner or later. That's my kind of jogging there. What I want to know though,is, Do you get out of breath and do the men wear those teeny tiny little running shorts when they take the pill? Hmmm!<BR> <BR>MOLLY<p>[This message has been edited by MLC (edited July 23, 1999).]

HEY!<BR>I just wrote a LONG reply on the topic I started and <BR>it didn't go through. I am at my brothers, and on a <BR>pretty sucky browser. I will write more Monday at<BR>work. THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE SMILES....they were <BR>definitely needed!<BR>More later,<BR>ldlb

molly,<BR> hey now no sence in feelin old we are all in the same boat. and by the way I'm not the one in cent. time zone, I'm in alaksa time zone four hours behind you!! dont get off work till 11:30 so I'm on here late. My babies will be 6 and 2 in a week, I know what you mean about time and all.<BR> Oh and my little pice of revenge, I spent (blew) my check yesterday on cd's movies and junk. paid the bills with his today!!!!! HA HA HA HA boy that felt good.<BR> I know what ya mean about Angela I was gettin worried too. hope her H isnt being a [censored]!!!!!!!!<BR> mine has me mixed up right now he dosnt come over unless I need to go to work and cant get a sitter but the past two days he keeps calling me "babe" I dont get it!! MEN, go figure!!!!!!!!! <BR> and everyone can post anything they want here till it fills up and we can start another one, dont mind at all!!! <BR> Well I think I'll go watch one of my new movies.<BR>LMS<P>ldlb, keep smilein girl!!!it is the best revenge!!!!!!! <BR>LMS<P>------------------<BR>maybe someday<p>[This message has been edited by LMS (edited July 25, 1999).]

Hey, LMS.<BR>ALASKA? I'm in FLORIDA! How about those extremes! It's in the high 90's today. This time of year is really hot and humid. Thank the lord for AC!!! Babies 6 & 2, Gosh I miss those days. Mine are grown. Great kids but it's hard to rock a kid as big as you are. . One thing that kind of sucks is, the ARE old enough to understand. They have seen it all and it's hard. I remember what it was like when we had problems when the girls were little. I think it was harder on me, I had to try to sheild them more and it's alot tougher to be strong. Alot of the grief and pain stays inside because you have to be there for the little ones and you don't want them to hear you vent. And financially you are knocked sideways. Stay in there kid. I had some good news last night. read on--I'm going to paste from another board. Take care and keep smiling.<BR> By the way you picked up the smile maker real quick. You go girl!! Have you skipped yet?<BR>-----------------<BR>I have to tell you, I had a lapse today. I've been really good too! I have not tried to contact him since the meeting two weeks ago. But this morning I was really down and missed him so much. Most of the time I try to stay busy when this needy thing gets ahold of me. Anyway I was on my way to the store this morning and my car just went to his place (where he's staying with two other soon to be divorced men)Darn car seems to have a mind of it's own . His truck was there and I'm not sure what I would have done (shudder) But alas he wasn't home. I politely told his roommate to just tell him I stopped by.<BR>Sooooo. Now I'm really bumming. Getting panicy inside. But I pulled myself together about 2 o'clock this afternoon when he hadn't called to find out what I wanted. I am so proud of myself right now.! I decided the lapse was a small one and he doesn't have to know about it. I decided that when he finally called I was going to tell him. "It wasn't important, all I wanted was to know if you remember the mileage when you last changed the oil." That will blow his mind. The man is finatical about his cars and changing the oil. I'm going to tell him someone is showing me how to change it myself! That is nothing short of a GIANT 180!<BR>I do not do cars! Anyway I had plans to go out tonight to a club where some friends have a band. (That's a 180 too!) I don't ever go out and I don't drink.<BR>About 4:30 the phone rang, I just knew it was him. Soooo I didn't answer. Checked caller ID and sure enough it was him. He called back 5 times before I went to take my shower to go out. Seems he might be just a tad NEEDY too!!!!!! I can't tell you how just once being on the other end felt. For once it wasn't me frantic to have him acknowlege I exist. <BR>An hour later my daughter came home and the phone rang again. This was not very nice but..... I told her to tell him I wasn't here. (Not nice, but I need all the help I can get here) He asked for me and on hearing I wasn't home ASSUMED I had gone to the store or something. Daughter talked to him a few minutes and he didn't ask where I was.<BR>I was hurt by that. Damn it, doesn't he even care. Well I got out of that funk pretty quick and continued to get ready to go out. Fifteen minutes later he called back, looking for me again. Interesting Hmmmm.<BR>I left the house right after that. Went to the club alone, but was meeting several people there. That's important to me, that I had enough nerve to walk in by myself. 180 Hmmm. Gee I like this stuff.<BR>When I walked in I noticed right away there was a friend of H's that would be sure to tell him I was there. Couldn't have planned this better!<BR>After about an hour. I look up and there is H with a few of his friends across the room. Well shucks that was ackward but I held my cool. He never even spoke to me. (Psst, fortunately I wasn't armed so killing the little sh*T was not an option.) I was going to leave but decided stubbornly that I was not there to let him think he could hurt me and after all it was HIM this time that<BR>seached me out. Hallalouya <<<< is that right?<BR>Anyway I stayed and had a good time, after an hour or so I noticed he left. <BR>So what do you think of that? I wonder if he'll call tomorrow. Maybe I just won't be home again. <BR>MOLLY

Molly,<BR> You go,that had to feel so good, I wish mine would call, more than to see if I need a sitter that is. I dont know, I think I'm being strong, not even cryed in a day and then those nasty words slip in, I love him, I need him,I wish this was all a bad dream, and its back to square one. It pi**es me off to feel that way. hey molly, lost fifteen pounds since he told me!!! (the only good thing in this mess).<BR>trying to do it for the kids though they think(right now)daddy is just working alot.<BR>well its 11:10 here so I need to go get ready for work I'll be back in about 12 hours or so.<BR>LMS<P>------------------<BR>maybe someday

HEY, I'M BACK!<BR>Molly, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! It's women like us that make this world a better place! Both of you being in that club could've been a disaster, but you held your head high and were THE ADULT! <BR>As you can guess, I'm having a great day today. Here's the latest from here....I took Friday off to pack my things. My H came home after work around 2:30. He and I talked until 5:00. We were both very civil and I didn't even tear up! We hadn't talked SO OPENLY to each other since before the wedding. Ever since we've been married, it's like we've been too focused on the fights. I said that at least now we know the core of the problem, but he says that "hindsight is 20/20" but I say that we haven't done anything that can't be undone at this point and why shouldn't we just separate to let his anger dissipate and then get together to see if we can even enjoy each other's company again? He said "NOT TO GET YOUR HOPES UP, but "joe blow" can sign divorce papers, 10 days and it's granted and then he has a year from that date to take $35 to the courthouse and reverse the divorce...basically wipe the record of it off. WHY WOULD HE SAY SUCH A THING????? <BR>I'm torn, could I remarry someone who chose a divorce over putting effort into the marriage while it's still there? My sis-in-law (my side) says that he may need the paper in hand to be able to let go of his anger, and not feel 'pressured' into making it work, and then could realize what he gave up and then the marriage would be HIS choice. Sidenote: He has said all along that I pressured him into the marriage too quickly!<BR>Better go for now, break-time here!<BR>I AM WOMAN, I AM INVINCIBLE!<BR>

ldlb,<BR>Hey there, It's Molly. Aren't men just so strange sometimes? What on earth state do you live in anyway? I'm sure glad I don't live there if it's that easy to get a divorce. I thought mine was pretty bad!<BR>I'm waiting now. (really apprehensively)for him to get my reply to his serving me. I disagreed with everything.<BR>He says the marriage is irretrievably broken and I say it isn't. The petition I filed with the judge says that My grounds for not granting him the D is that we never sought counciling. Now that will put him into a fit! My lawyer said the judge will order counciling-I'm already going to my first appointment tomorrow. Now I know darn right well forced counciling probably will do nothing but at least it gives me more time. Time is the saver here I think.<BR>Also I refused to divid up the assets (Funny how they start calling your whole life, THE ASSETS) That will tick him off too. Then there's the real slammer. The lawyer told me, because of the length of the marriage, 25 years the judge will require temporary alimony and possibly permanant if H insists on Divorce. Now that word ALIMONY is going to make the man burn. I keep watching for the mushroom cloud from the direction of his place, but haven't heard anything yet. He should be getting his copy any day, his lawyer was on vacation so it was delayed for a week. <BR>I told him about this (twice) and I told him I needed more time. I'm pretty sure though, that he did not really hear what I said. Sticking my head in the lion's mouth twice was enough for me. I guess he'll have to read it. What I'm hoping is, while I know he's going to be pissed, maybe this time he won't hold onto the anger as long. If I can keep my cool when he contacts me, I think I'll be OK. A delay in this is really important. He's made some babysteps my way and I know this may cancel that out but if I can keep showing him that things are different now---Maybe.<BR>Hey, Have you gotten the book <Divorcebusting> yet? I'm amazed with how well it works and I find it helps alot.<BR>You know I'm kind of blue today. I'm not sure why. I keep having this feeling I'm running out of time. Like there's something waiting right around the corner that will knock my socks off again. I'm trying real hard to be ready for it, so I don't overreact and mess up things even more.<BR>Sometimes I wonder if I'm going to feel this empty lost feeling forever. It's like a part of me is somehow lost and no matter how hard I try I can't find it. I'm really scared that I WILL feel this sad lost feeling forever.<BR>Have you ever wondered how other people go through divorce without a backward look? That has always baffled me. The very thought of finding and marrying someone else EVER, makes me sick to my stomach. I don't think I could ever let any one this close again. You know until a couple months ago I never thought I would ever have to think about this.<BR>Good golly, Thats it for this maudlin sh*t. I'm going to make myself feel sorry for myself. <BR>I'll write again later. I'm going to go get rid of this lousy mood.<BR>MOLLY

Hey Molly!!!!!!<BR>I can't believe that was actually you w/NO SMILES!!!!!!!<BR>Hang in there girl! I know you were married a considerably longer time than me, but I promise I was JUST AS commited to my H. He is everything I ever wanted and dreamt of for a mate in life.<BR>I started the day pretty bummed myself. Just as I was getting ready for bed last night, my H's sister called and said she saw in the paper that he had filed. I have yet to be served, but expect it any day/minute. I called the courthouse to ask how long it usually takes, and she said it depends on the method of serving they use. I have thought about protesting and asking for counseling myself, but I fear he would only resent me more. We went ONCE, back in April and it did buy some time, but he never lost the "convinced feeling in his heart that we weren't compatible" HIS WORDS........<BR>Anyway, I am pretty comfortable waiting to see what happens for the time being. I do feel that he had filed before our talk on Friday (since it was in Sat's paper) and pray that maybe he's called to have the serving cancelled. Maybe he's taking some time to consider all that was said Friday afternoon. Well, how 'bout that advice of yours about skipping? Have you tried it lately? ;-)<BR>I thank God that I had my brother's house to go to. He has a 3 yr old that is keeping me full of smiles, not to mention pretty busy!<BR>This topic is getting pretty full. By the way, what's happened to MLC and LMS??????? <BR>HEY, you need to check out my new topic in the EN forum. See if you have any feedback to that! <BR>Keep your head high! AND REMEMBER THE SAYING..."THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL US ONLY MAKES US STRONGER"<BR>Later, girl!<BR>

Hi there,<BR>It's me MOLLY. I'm MLC goofball! I like MoLLY better. LMS is at her brothers and won't be able to write for a few days. She'll be back.<BR>Hey Kid<<<Like that huh? I was thinking about you earlier and thought how ironic it was that you after such a short marriage are just as devistated as me. I guess it makes not a hell of a lot of difference how long. I guess it's who! I wish so much I had started trying this hard along time ago. Actually sweety, I think you would have a better chance of making it than me. Your young and can kick his....oops not supposed to be hostile, <BR>Ok what's the EN forum? Been a long day, not so quick today.<BR>What state do you live in? LMS is Alaska - I'm Florida - Fill in the blank here - you too Angela. Maybe we have all four corners here. Maine anyone? Yuk the other corner is Baha, california. Maybe we'll be close to the four corners. Nobody lives in Baha, CA. Sorry, anybody from Baha!<BR>Hey I'm going to the B-room. I'll skip. Nah, I don't think I will. Skipping down the stairs would be real painful. <BR>Zip a dee do da.....zip a dee AAAAAA<BR>Bye<BR>MOLLY<BR>

hey ya'll I'm still here ya cant get rid of me that easly!! I was just wiped out after work lastnight was all.<BR>Ya wanna talk about pissed H's mine is torked big time I'm going out tonight and told him HE could either pay a sitter or do it him self, since thats all he has been for the past three weeks.<BR>well its settled I'm heddin back to missouri back to my folks's ranch dont know when yet but I am going. and I'll stay in touch too cuz I'm takin my puter <BR>well I need to go get ready I'll let ya all know how the movie is. by the way read this joke it made me laugh <P>Can you just imagine!!!!<P>A rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of her<BR>vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the<BR>first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up<BR>there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly<BR>begun when she heard someone running up the stairs; she was lying on her<BR>stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.<P>"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the<BR>hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't<BR>mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate<BR>your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."<BR>"What difference does it make?" the lady asked rather calmly. "No<BR>one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."<BR>"Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on<BR>the dining room skylight."<P>LMS<P>------------------<BR>maybe someday

Ok now some one is confused here, My brother is in the big house and I dont see me going to stay with him, not even if I wanted to,we dont get along at all. oh boy the Ice cream man BRB. MMMMMMMMMMM love that ice cream man <BR>we need to figure out a way and time we all can chat. any one else have ICQ?<BR>well girls I'm going to go get ready to go. for real this time. see ya later<BR>LMS<P>------------------<BR>maybe someday

LMS<BR>Molly here, Well that was a major blunder there. OOPS, In the big house Huh! Why don't you go stay there? FOOD Bad? <BR>What do you mean going home to folks? Giving up? Just mad talking?<BR>I have AOL Instant Messaging. Do any of you Guys? We could all talk at once. Can we do that with you in Alaska? This gadget stuff is really confusing sometimes. If you don't have AOL IM, you can get it free from AOL homepage or let me know e=mail address and I can send it through Aol. Just a thought. I don't know what IRQ is. If you let me know how to get it I'll try it.<BR>Does it cost money? We're all pinching pennies I think, I know I am.<BR>Oh, loved the joke, mad me laugh and I've been pretty bummed today. Good job. <BR>Hey who's visiting Brother? Or did I just dream that? <BR>Hey ladie when this thread gets to 40 lets start a new one. You there Angela? ldlb? Yohoo HELLO! OK OK I'm behaving.<BR>Is the the first going out for you? Gosh I hope not. I think thats perfect having him babysit. Make you happy and make you smile. Cause honey child nobody else is going to love you unless you love yourself!<BR>Preaching done. Love talking to you guys. It's fast becoming the highlight of my day.<BR>Molly

ERROR ERROR ERROR<BR>IT's ldlb who WAS at her brothers. OOps. sorry sorry sorry<BR>This is a hug for you{{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}}<BR>Have a good time at the movies. Do they have movies in Alaska? te he <BR>Just a thought, I really should have paid more attention in typing class in highschool.<BR>I have to turn the light on cause I can't see the keys. LOL<BR>Love MOLLY<BR>

I dont have aol instant mess any more but can get it back but ICQ is faster and its free to let me put a link up here to down load it from....<BR>http://www.icq.com/download/<BR>when you get it let me know and I'll give you my # or you can give me yours or your screen name and I'll find you guys.<BR>movie was great it was the Haunting very scarry but I love those type and yes its sad to say this was my first time out except to work and to the store. <BR>no I have my own house at my mom and dads and I think the distance will do me some good plus having my family around may help the kids ajust easier. but I'll still be here ALOT I have grown very fond of all of you, you guys helped me through the worst part of my life so far.<BR>well got to go the baby just woke up and is ticked off.<P>LMS<P>------------------<BR>maybe someday

HEY GUYS!!!!!<BR>I read all your posts last night, but like I said before, the comp @ my brothers doesn't work well enough for me to reply. I tried, but it timed out or something. I don't understand all this technology, but I am sure glad I have access at work. I'll talk to my sis-in-law and see if we can't upgrade their browser.<P>Anyway, how is everybody today? Thanks Molly for checking out my topic in the EN forum. I am gonna try to find time today to find Michelle!<P>Like I said, I'm practicing my new-found patience. Waiting to see if I get served the papers. I am still wondering if he's having some doubt, though.<P>You all don't know how much help you've been, and the countless smiles you've gotten on my face. Well, maybe you do, since you're going through the same thing. <P>I don't have access to any type of IM, or anything, plus I think it would be hard to find a time we could all meet. One in Alaska, one in Florida and I'm smack in the middle in Oklahoma. HEY, by the way, baja CA isn't that bad. As a matter of fact, I'm going close to there next week for a mini-vacation. I'll be San Diego next Wed - Sun. My best friend from school lives there now, and I'm going to go visit for a spell. Thought I could use the break!<P>Better go, I have some projects to finish up here.....remember to find the book I mentioned by A. Stoddard!!! It really helps!<BR>